How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

[LyonheartLakshmi]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

No. To say "You guys aren't living up to my expecations, I'm leaving." is being honest. I'm not a prima donna for telling a party that things aren't working out. It's that kind of mentality that keeps people in miserable parties.

It can be both honest and prima-donna-ish at the same time.

[Murphie]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

Well, if worded like that, perhaps. But it's perfectly acceptable to tell the party that things aren't working out and that you want to leave. That's not being a prima donna.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

tbh, I do really not like the EN party's replacement-in-mid-session style of exp. parties. I prefer the JP style that everyone in party disband at the same time once the party is over, no replacement unless for exceptional situations. No matter how good the party setup is at the begin, after a few replacement during the session, there is good chance for breaking the balance of the party.

To be fair, JP players don't have to deal with a dozen different timezones. NA and EU players do not have that luxury, EUs especially. Its not a "style" for NAs and EUs, its a neccessity.

I've had plenty of replacement-based PTs that flowed for 10-30k EXP no problem, so I find it a little superstitious that a few changes would really break a PT that consistantly. I just find for every good streak there's a bad one that will eventually happen.

My scenario was an extreme one, too. The party started after 0:00 EST. So many of my fellow EST players are headed to bed or already there and PST are starting to wind down as well. There's really only a handful of nightowls between that three hour gap. So finding replacements at that time was more difficult that it usually would have been.

It actually took FFXI NA and EUs two whole years before they even reached the same conclusion about replacing yourself in EXP. In Everquest, it was totally customary and expected of you to replace yourself. But then, the parties in that game were not restricted to a 2-3 level gap, they could go up to 5. I never had a problem finding a Bard or Enchanter to replace me. Meanwhile finding a replacement for yourself as COR, BRD or RDM in FFXI is a chore.

The kiddie-draw of FFXI doesn't help, either. That one trancends the regions. EQ didn't have franchise, mainstream popularity, so mostly adults played it. So I'd assume those droves of people who picked up Vanguard recently were not the ones playing Warcraft III in an internet cafe on their mom's money.

[Kholdstare]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

Well, if worded like that, perhaps. But it's perfectly acceptable to tell the party that things aren't working out and that you want to leave. That's not being a prima donna.

No, but the idea of "This party is pretty bad, I'm going to leave, I should get another party fairly soon, anyway" is being a primadonna. I mean, would you seriously leave that crappy party if it meant another 2-3 hours of seeking, with no guarantee that you'll get a party? That's what most DDs (and other jobs, if there is a surplus at the time) have to put up with. They have to put up with these crappy parties because it's almost definitely the only party they'll get that night. Whereas a BRD or similar job can fake a d/c, wait 15 minutes, and log back in and get a party invite before their screen even loads.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

would you seriously leave that crappy party if it meant another 2-3 hours of seeking, with no guarantee that you'll get a party?

Never stopped me from dropping PT as RNG or DRG, actually.

I just kicked my tank from a PT with no explaination as BST. Stupid beetle.

[Murphie]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

No, but the idea of "This party is pretty bad, I'm going to leave, I should get another party fairly soon, anyway" is being a primadonna.

No, that's being honest with yourself and expecting more from your time online. Why shouldn't you leave a bad party if you know you can get a better one shortly? Only a masochist or an idiot would stay.

I mean, would you seriously leave that crappy party if it meant another 2-3 hours of seeking, with no guarantee that you'll get a party? That's what most DDs (and other jobs, if there is a surplus at the time) have to put up with. They have to put up with these crappy parties because it's almost definitely the only party they'll get that night. Whereas a BRD or similar job can fake a d/c, wait 15 minutes, and log back in and get a party invite before their screen even loads.

It depends on how bad the party is. If staring at my moogle, or crafting, or questing, or doing anything else is going to be more enjoyable than the party I'm in? Yeah, I'm going to leave. I'm not so concerned with getting any exp (no matter how slow or painful) that I'll just take any old crappy party.

[Kholdstare]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

Never stopped me from dropping PT and RNG or DRG, actually.

I just kicked my tank from a PT with no explaination as BST. Stupid beetle.

Fortunately for you, tanks are far more common for a BST than for a standard party

Murphie: I'm not saying that you should stay if you have something more productive to do. I'm saying that dropping a party to try and find a better party comes off as really disrespectful.

[Murphie]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

And staying in a bad party when you know you can do better shows a lack of respect for yourself.

[Kholdstare]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

And staying in a bad party when you know you can do better shows a lack of respect for yourself.

Who says that I can do better when I'm in a crappy party, though? Leaving a party to craft won't level me any faster. Quests don't give exp, either. Sitting in my mog house while I don't get invites won't get me exp. When you want exp, it's foolish to NOT exp for such trivial matters. When I want/need money, I'll go out and make it. When I need fame or a particular item, I'll do a quest. Neither of those is a good enough substitute for exp.

[Aeolus]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

To be fair, JP players don't have to deal with a dozen different timezones. NA and EU players do not have that luxury, EUs especially. Its not a "style" for NAs and EUs, its a neccessity.

Im EU and I dont deal with different timezones, I deal with whos online at the current time. Sure, I can rely on JP players who are seeking to have at least an hour or two to play but alot of them put the time they want to leave in their comments. I ask EN players how long they have as they dont put their playtime in their comments to ensure exp for an hour at least. Ok, so some people cant read JP, neither can I to any huge extent but as the PT leader I find its my duty to know whats going, its not hard at all to figure out what 23 or 24 then a Jp symbol means considering most JP players do leave PTs at 11pm, midnight or 1am. Leaders should know these things, thats why you put together a PT and the other members dont, read up on your timezones as its a valuable thing to know in the world of FFXI. Its not all just about knowing where to camp.

[Murphie]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

Bottom line, if the party sucks, I'm not sticking around. Does that mean I might not get EXP? Possibly. And I'm ok with that.

I don't subscribe to the "exp is exp" mentality. And I don't make any apologies because of that.

[Kholdstare]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

Bottom line, if the party sucks, I'm not sticking around. Does that mean I might not get EXP? Possibly. And I'm ok with that.

I don't subscribe to the "exp is exp" mentality. And I don't make any apologies because of that.

I suppose I can see your point. I just suppose it's very disheartening to think "Yay, I'm gonna get some exp tonight." and end up leaving to do something you don't want to do.

[Raydeus]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

Then again, it's all about having fun with the game, if xping isn't enjoyable because the party sucks then it's way better to go do something else than just staying because "xp is xp".

And if you have nothing else better to do in-game that you might find enjoyable then I'd suggest logging out and try doing something else, there are many ways to enjoy your free time other than playing XI.

[ItazuraNhomango]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

I mean, would you seriously leave that crappy party if it meant another 2-3 hours of seeking, with no guarantee that you'll get a party? That's what most DDs (and other jobs, if there is a surplus at the time) have to put up with.

I'd leave. Have done so, actually, on RDM, NIN, and a number of DD jobs. (I've abandoned PL'ed parties because I was tired of chasing the mob around and missing weaponskills, not because the exp/hour was bad.)

I suppose I can see your point. I just suppose it's very disheartening to think "Yay, I'm gonna get some exp tonight." and end up leaving to do something you don't want to do.

Staying in a lousy, boring party is precisely what I do not want to do. FFXI is big enough that I can always find something else I'd like much better than exp'ing in a crummy party. If not, just turn off the computer and read a good book.

[Saren]

Re: How to leave a party without saying "This PT sucks?"

Personally speaking there are levels of suckage when it comes to parties. For some I would probably stay till someone levelled then find a replacement. For others I would say I am leaving in party chat, give a reason and disband without finding a replacement. Like Murphie said there are some parties it's just cruel to recommend to others. I am not at a point yet where I would feel comfortable questioning other peoples choices of actions/gear/sub etc because you really need to know what you are talking about before you start doing that and be very careful how you go about it.

Yes exp parties are about getting exp but if the party is grinding you down to the point where you are not having fun at all and possibly getting to the point of being annoyed, why are you in it? I would rather sit and wait for another party or do something else than grind my teeth while whichever idiot it is does whichever stupid thing they are doing again no matter how good the exp is. As for staying for the good players in the group, not my responsibility. If they chose to be in a group they know is awful that's their choice, they consented to having a rotten party.

I don't like fake dcs though, they are rude and/or cowardly. I get that sometimes you just can't be arsed to deal with the people but it doesn't take a lot of dealing with people to say 'I'm sorry, this party isn't working for me. I'm leaving now.' if you get hounded for an explanation or with insults and you don't want to listen to there is a blacklist function. I don't think it's wrong to leave a party for being dreadful so long as you at least say you are going, giving a reason why is kind but not required if you don't want to. Leaving people wondering if you are coming back, or not saying you are going is just plain rude.