Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

[Effedup]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Well my daughter is 28 and recently divorced. She's been talking with a guy that she only knows from online/phone conversations for a couple months at most. I'd say they weren't close friends by that since I believe it takes longer than that and more contact than that to have a solid friendship. She was talking to him in the context of what type of boobs he likes. She mentioned she liked X star's boobs and then a conversation ensued about her liking another woman's boobs.

I don't see a problem with that...I have had similar conversations with a few of my female friends, regardless of their sexual orientation. A person can admire another's form without it being sexual in nature. Now, it's not something I would bring up early in the friendship, necessarily...but it's really something that depends on the people involved. If he was being lewd about it or something or made your daughter uncomfortable than that's one thing, but the topic on it's own doesn't imply anything, if both parties were enjoying the conversation. I mean, it is possible that he's trying to become something more than friends...but if your daughter isn't interested in that at this point then I'm sure she'll let him know. Unless he's a total jerk, he'll get the hint and be cool with it. But, I wouldn't assume that to be the case based on this topic alone, merely something to watch for as time goes on.

[Kuro]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

I've humped my female friends leg before. We have spent a lot of time collapsed on the same bed/on top of each other. She descovered during a war of pokeing a well, sensitive spot and started useing it to her advantage. I can;t quite remember how it went from there to leg humping though....

[Effedup]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

I've humped my female friends leg before. We have spent a lot of time collapsed on the same bed/on top of each other. She descovered during a war of pokeing a well, sensitive spot and started useing it to her advantage. I can;t quite remember how it went from there to leg humping though....

Ok, well see THAT's in a whole different ball park there. I don't roll around humping my friend's legs...but hey, whatever works. ^^

[Jarre]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Ok...I had a "discussion" with my daughter today. I was talking to her about how she interacts with people....mainly the opposite sex. So I'm going to ask this of our male members. Imagine you have a friend that is female. We all know the stresses of having a friend of the opposite sex and how you walk that fine line so its not more than friendship. But just what is crossing the line? If you were talking with her and she started talking about her breasts to you, would that be crossing the line? What type of behavior raises that red flag to you?

What you need to realise TGM that my generation is extreemly open about everything. (i'm not being pedantic or dissing or anythign liekt hat, its just my generation is even more open than the last) The conversations I have had with my female best friends, you'd think were between lovers, but there is no sexual contact or advances, its just we were comfortable talking to each other about "things". I was the first person she told about her becoming a lesbian and asked me for advice on "pleasuring down below" now she tells me new ways and techniques.

Most people probably be going ewww, and Jarre why mention that, well There is a point.

we can talk about intimate things like that, but we are not going out, we are not lovers, were just mates being comfrotable talking to each other about these things.

As for what is crossing the line, the only thing I wiould say is to actually try it on, vocal is not a problem its when physical contact becomes sexual that would be the line not to cross with friends, once crossed you could fuck up a whole friendship.

[Kuro]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Ok, well see THAT's in a whole different ball park there. I don't roll around humping my friend's legs...but hey, whatever works. ^^

I'm gay so I can get away with it lol. That's why she was teasing me in the first place

[Effedup]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

I'm gay so I can get away with it lol. That's why she was teasing me in the first place

Oh I see...that changes things. ^^ If I were to try that with my friends, I'd probably get a fat lip lol ^^

[WovenDarkness]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Well my daughter is 28 and recently divorced. She's been talking with a guy that she only knows from online/phone conversations for a couple months at most. I'd say they weren't close friends by that since I believe it takes longer than that and more contact than that to have a solid friendship. She was talking to him in the context of what type of boobs he likes. She mentioned she liked X star's boobs and then a conversation ensued about her liking another woman's boobs.

I used to talk to a lot of divorced women before I was married. Most of them were flirtatious and expressed themselves quite sexually. Do you suppose that now that she's "free", she might be trying to fill an emotional hole with a new fantasy man that she's never met? I could see where the excitement in the new could supplant the anguish of the old. Sexual thought is very powerful.

[Luna]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Well my daughter is 28 and recently divorced. She's been talking with a guy that she only knows from online/phone conversations for a couple months at most. I'd say they weren't close friends by that since I believe it takes longer than that and more contact than that to have a solid friendship. She was talking to him in the context of what type of boobs he likes. She mentioned she liked X star's boobs and then a conversation ensued about her liking another woman's boobs.

=] Meeting ppl online is not all that bad, I met my Husband over FFXI lol? I know right, but yeah we are happily married. So I wouldnt say over the internet is a bad place to meet ppl, It is just VERY risky.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

=] Meeting ppl online is not all that bad, I met my Husband over FFXI lol? I know right, but yeah we are happily married. So I wouldnt say over the internet is a bad place to meet ppl, It is just VERY risky.

I have no problems with meeting a mate on the internet as long as you can have real life contact with that person on a regular basis. So basically if you live within 100 miles of one another, I think thats fine. Long distance usually is a nightmare. I've been on the internet for a very very long time and I've seen very bad things happen. My niece was murdered after she met a guy in a mall that she had only talked to online. One of my best friends gave up her marriage of 10 years and her children over a man she met in a chatroom that was nothing but a whore. And my daughter says she was taken advantage of by three men she met over the internet (I know 2 of them did for sure) .......and yet she still keeps on doing it.

And its not the man I'm concerned about, its my daughter. I believe that her behavior inappropriate. Between wearing clothes on her that are at least 2 sizes too small (and she is a "big" woman) and her mouth, I can't see her ever finding a nice guy if she acts and looks like trash. She doesn't feel that there is anything wrong with her mouth. She isn't talking about facts, she talks suggestively. And as far as not being open about things, don't look at me. When my kids were younger they were taught whatever they wanted to learn. We had a discussion about masturbation at the dinner table once for god's sake. I'll talk to anyone about anything, the only way we learn is if we communicate. But at some point, there is good taste and bad taste. There is crossing the line and there is staying within a boundary.

I just wanted to know what's crossing the line in your book. When do you know a woman is trying to communicate more than friendship to you.

[Wise Donkey]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

When do you know a woman is trying to communicate more than friendship to you?

This can be tricky, as most of the time we either 1)think you are saying more than you really are or 2)are completely oblivious to your advances. The fact that your daughter has been down the internet relationship road before and has yet to learn her lesson would give me great concern as a parent. I get the impression that she lives under you roof still? If so, you are well within your rights to impose rules on her while she is there.

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

The fact that your daughter has been down the internet relationship road before and has yet to learn her lesson would give me great concern as a parent. I get the impression that she lives under you roof still? If so, you are well within your rights to impose rules on her while she is there.

Yes, she does live at home once again. She moved in Jan. of this year and since then she hasn't been allowed to use the internet in my house.

[Tipsy]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Some people are simply just more open than others.

Try talking to her about it.

Though her being your daughter you probably know if she's open about that kind of thing, or if she's not. If she's usually not you can safely assume she doesn't completly dread that person as being part of her sex life or is trying to push the envelope of the Friend Zone into something more, if it isn't already.

It isn't normal to say that to a stranger or even a new friend with innocence, so maybe you can assume something may be going on, or use it as an eye-opener investigate further.

That one event is a small indication and therefore you cannot unbiasly assume they are more that just friends, just be a little more aware and see what they do.


EDIT: I don't mean stalk her lol

[TheGrandMom]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Try talking to her about it.

Yep, thats what I did which lead to this thread. LOL

It isn't normal to say that to a stranger or even a new friend with innocence, so maybe you can assume something may be going on, or use it as an eye-opener investigate further.

Exactly what I was thinking. Thank you Tipsy. ^^

And thank you everyone that has helped by replying. It's always good to get other people's perspectives on subjects and I do value all of your opinions. ^^

[The Mauva Syndicate]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

It sounds like he is trying to use "the close friends tactic" to get a date.

I agree with Losrase - He's sharkin'

I know you wanted the guyz perspective, but I'll bet dollars to doughnuts, that's what you think too - he's moving in for the strike - Guys seem to think they are being all slick, but we KNOW when he's sharkin! When I'm standing there having a conversation and his eyes seem to have a problem looking UP into my face. When a guy's asks me those leading, but seemingly innocent questions. I can ALWAYS tell when a guys sharkin!

Honestly TGM, especially with a guy she's not met in person, he smells blood in the water.

Dun dun duh dundundudund DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDdudundundundundudun *JAWS* theme....

[Raydeus]

Re: Friends or something more? Help me out guys!

Eh, I wouldn't give women's intuition much weight seeing how often I've gotten into situations where the girl thinks I'm sooo after her even though it never crossed my mind.

Context (Please check it.) first.



And then they end up going after me instead... unless it's just a "tactic" to bring up the subject.