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  • Questions on bibles.

    I got a pamphlet from some religious organization in the mail today. I tossed it out, but one thing I couldn't help but notice was a quote that "The greatest pleasure in human life is reading god's word, and tasting him through it".

    I'm curious as to exactly how I'm supposed to taste god. Do I lick the pages, or tear them off and chew on them? Is the ink non-toxic? (Believers in christ are supposed to be able to ingest poisons without dying, of course)
    sigpic

  • #2
    Re: Questions on bibles.

    Originally posted by Feba View Post
    I got a pamphlet from some religious organization in the mail today. I tossed it out, but one thing I couldn't help but notice was a quote that "The greatest pleasure in human life is reading god's word, and tasting him through it".

    I'm curious as to exactly how I'm supposed to taste god. Do I lick the pages, or tear them off and chew on them? Is the ink non-toxic? (Believers in christ are supposed to be able to ingest poisons without dying, of course)
    Try eating the Bible.

    Disclaimer: If you grow wings and start creating miracles, I cannot be held accountable.
    ~~~BLM SAM RNG NIN PLD~~~

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    • #3
      Re: Questions on bibles.

      Well, they're kinda thick. I think that might be biting off a bit more than I can chew.
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Questions on bibles.

        dice it up and make a holy stew outta it
        sigpic

        Never Interuppt Your Enemy When He Is Making A Mistake.

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        • #5
          Re: Questions on bibles.

          You could boil the Hell out of it first, might make it easier.
          FFXIV Balmung Server
          Tenro Matashi
          PLD|GLD - MIN|BOT - ALC|ARM|BSM|CRP|GSM|LTW|WVR

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          • #6
            Re: Questions on bibles.

            Would I need holy water for that?
            sigpic

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            • #7
              Re: Questions on bibles.

              Can't hurt, though I really don't feel it is necessary.
              FFXIV Balmung Server
              Tenro Matashi
              PLD|GLD - MIN|BOT - ALC|ARM|BSM|CRP|GSM|LTW|WVR

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              • #8
                Re: Questions on bibles.

                once you put the bible in the water it becomes holy water. careful though. sideeffects may include but are not limited too: headaches, earaches, stomache aches, back aches, running nose, itchy eyes, watery eyes, scratchy throat, upper respritory infection, elevated cholesteral and bloodpressure levels, heart attck, stroke, loss of vision, loss of hearing, loss of sanity, and in some cases spontaneous combustion. other than those side effects its a great product. enjoy
                sigpic

                Never Interuppt Your Enemy When He Is Making A Mistake.

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                • #9
                  Re: Questions on bibles.

                  Don't forget the waste product is valuable and don't scream the obvious "Holy shit" after the event.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Questions on bibles.

                    If you want to have sex with Jesus I can scrounge around for a link to the religious organization's website that can help, but tasting God? You're on your own.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Questions on bibles.

                      Tear it up into little pieces, pour milk into it, and call it Christ Chex. It's a miracle in every bowl.
                      My Signature. Now with 50% more processed ham product than those other leading signatures.

                      Which FF Character Are You?
                      Originally posted by Balfree
                      Why does every discussion have to be a little festivity of sorts, with purple doom rain and lunatic frogs singing the yodelay on top of mushrooms and little babies being eaten by crazy flying cows and green gas explosions on the horizon and screaming goats?

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                      • #12
                        Re: Questions on bibles.

                        God wants you to develop synesthesia.

                        I suggest acid.
                        Ellipses on Fenrir
                        There is no rush. If you're not willing to take your time, don't be surprised when no one wants to give you much of theirs.
                        ,
                        . . .

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                        • #13
                          Re: Questions on bibles.

                          i seriously need to stop reading these forums when im at work.

                          mmm christ chex... not a bad idea. i second the notion
                          Thf75/Cor75- Time to work on this...

                          Caleus-Fenrir-BACK!

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                          • #14
                            Re: Questions on bibles.

                            [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Incredible-Edible-Bible-Fun-Memorable/dp/0764420011]Amazon.com: Incredible Edible Bible Fun: Making God's Word Memorable With Easy Recipes Children Can Do: Nanette Goings: Books[/ame]

                            JTF

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