No announcement yet.

New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

    Okay, I've been stewing on this idea for a fanfiction for a long time now. It would closely follow the Windurst mission storyline (because I'll be using my character) but it will take the adventurer's perspective and make it much wider. It follows more into the misadventures involved with completing quests, gaining friends, and just traversing Vana'diel. However, I'm afraid it would be too cliched and drawn out.
    You see, there are is one thing that I don't want to reveal until somewhere around rank 10, but then there is so much to tell about it after the secret is out...
    And now you see my dilemma. So, I wanted your opinion on whether or not I should pursue this story. Like in my last one, I have the beginning and end planned out fairly well, but the middle is hazy.
    If you so choose to read this first chapter, and feel opinionated about it, I would like to know if you like the way I am approaching it, or if I should shrink it down and focus more on the adventurers, not the Windurst storyline. Have fun, and be warned, this first chapter is a long read!
    Chapter One: Settling In

    There was a Hume in Lower Jeuno. He was standing with one foot perched on the edge of an ornate fountain, with a hand above his eyes to block out the sun. He was scanning the area for anyone seeking his services—and knew he had to be the first to offer them.

    After about twenty minutes with no luck, his eyes began to wander; predominantly towards the posterior of a Mithra standing at the auction house. She had bright red hair draped over random points on her head that could be seen for many lengths on end, and she seemed to be wearing low level mage robes. She also had a sword hanging on the left side of her belt, signaling that perhaps she was a red mage. She had been standing there for quite a while, and the Hume didn’t mind this at all.

    She turned around and headed towards the fountain. It took the Hume a moment to figure out where she was headed, but when he did, he turned his head and hoped she wouldn’t notice. However she was still headed for him, and he readied himself for a swift slap, as he had received numerous times before.

    But when she was still quite a few feet away from him she stopped, still staring into his averted gaze, and apparently wanting his attention. He did a double take to add onto his act, and greeted her with a confused look.

    “Ah? Oh hello Miss, is there something I can help you with?”

    It was then that he noticed she was very shy. Her eyes were now squarely focused on the tips of his boots. She had her hands clasped together in front of her, the toes of her own sandals were nearly on top of each other, and her tail was delicately poised between her legs. Even her ears were tucked firmly against her head and were nearly hidden by her bright bush of hair. If it hadn’t have been for her tail, she could have been easily mistaken for a bashful Hume.

    She mumbled something to his boots, but it wasn’t audible enough for him to catch it. “Excuse me?” he asked, now becoming a bit confused.

    Rather than stepping closer into his hearing range, she stayed where she was, raised her eyes slightly, and said her words a bit louder. “Are you a teleporterrr?”

    “Why, yes I am. Are you looking to go somewhere, Miss?”

    “Yes. TahrongiCanyon, please,” she shortly answered.

    “Alright, that’ll be two thousand,” the Hume replied, gratefully holding out his hand. The Mithra reached into her pocket and began to count out her gil. She seemed to be as eager to get her eyes off of him as eagerly as he’d held out his hand.

    “And off we go! Thank you for choosing Dom’s Teleporting Service!”

    In a swirl of light and bubble beams, the two were off to the sunny but desolate canyon. In a few short seconds, they had arrived at the enormous crag that stood out from the scenery like an ant in a bowl of rice. They were on opposite ends of the crystal, so the Hume leaned around it to say his farewell, and get one more look at her.

    “Again, thank you, and have a—”

    He stopped short; the Mithra wasn’t there. His eyes narrowed and he squinted in the sun to see where she could have gone. Just has he began thinking she’d been left behind, he saw her thirty feet away mounting a chocobo. She had jumped off the edge of the platform as soon as she had materialized, and apparently had no intention of being anywhere near him.

    “And have a nice day,” he grumbled as he chanted the spell Warp.

    The Mithra put the chocobo into a full run, hoping the thrill and panic of going so fast up and down so many hills would prevent her from recalling her last memories of the place around her. However she soon got into the chocobo’s rhythm, and her mind couldn’t help itself. She recalled that sunny morning not long ago, her companion…his traitorous friend…

    And then that evening. Her stomach lurched and her ears went on full alert—oh, how she had feared recalling that memory! She clenched her fists and shook her head violently to try and get the images out of it. Her chocobo reacted to these erratic movements with a high pitched “Kweh!” and a slight skip in his step. She gladly took to the distraction and calmed him down. For the rest of the ride, she focused on thinking of the habits of this chocobo, and all chocobos in general. She would think about anything to avoid any more recollections.

    When she finally arrived at the gate to Windurst Woods, she slowed the chocobo down to a walk to dismount. The Mithran guard at the gate offered to take the chocobo for her. She mumbled something that sounded like a thanks to the Mithra and made her way into Windurst.

    When she made it in she stopped for a moment, distracting herself with the beautiful sights of the greenery and the alluring aromas that filled the air. She began to think that getting over it would be easier than she had thought. She confidently wheeled around to the right and walked straight up to Rakoh Buuma, a Mithra who worked for the Federation by giving missions out to able-bodied adventurers.

    Rakoh had been gossiping with the two Mithra at her sides, and barely noticed the Mithra approaching. “Hm? And who might you be?” she asked rather impatiently.

    “I am an adventurer, ma’am, Lilani,” Lilani said, consciously hoping she sounded both polite and assertive. The better impression one made on the gate guards, the tougher missions one might receive.

    Rakoh straightened out and stood in an authoritative manner, “And have you completed any missions for Windurst beforrre, Miss Lilani?”

    “Eh, no ma’am,” she responded, obviously ashamed by it.

    “I see,” Rakoh critically responded as she reached down for a clipboard on the ground. She picked it up and lazily scanned the list. “We’ve got one here you can accept, it’s for the Minister of the Orastery Ajido-Marujido. It’s been out for a while now so I can’t guarrrantee he still needs the help, but if you’re willing to give it a shot head on down to the Orastery to see what he’s up to this time.”

    Lilani bowed to Rakoh politely and gave her thanks. Just as she started walking off, Rakoh called out to her. “Hey, get back herrre a minute!” Lilani did as instructed. “I’ve got to see some confirmation that you’re a representative of Windurst, and not some rrruffian come to crash some missions for kicks.”

    “Ah, of course,” Lilani said, mostly to herself. She then took off a ring which had been on her right ring finger and gave it to Rakoh to examine.

    Rakoh held it up to the sunlight a moment looking at it with both eyes, and then closing one for a more focused look, When she was done she it back out for Lilani. “Yup, that’s a genuine Windurstian ring—and don’t forget to get your signet as well, missie!”

    “Aye, ma’am, thank you,” Lilani responded, inadvertently displaying her odd accent. Rakoh picked up on it, but said nothing.

    Lilani briskly made her way to the Orastery for further information on the mission. It was quite a walk to the Orastery, but she preoccupied herself once again with the scenery, but also with the words “up to this time” Rakoh had used in describing the mission. “Just how notorious could one politician be?” she wondered.

    When she arrived at the Orastery, Lilani was confused as to whom she was expected to talk to. Everyone in the room seemed busy, either casting spells or giving directions, and there were no Minister-looking Tarutaru nearby. She walked to the front of the room, staring in wonder at the Tarutaru lined up in the center casting beautiful high-leveled spells and enchantments.

    “Hey! Watch it, lady!”

    Lilani’s ears found the person yelling at her before her eyes could. She turned her head to see who it was, but her neck cramped and she leaned over to her left in pain. Just as she moved, a purple fireball exploded to her right, narrowly missing her tail.

    Lilani remained hunched over for a moment, wondering if it was over yet. Suddenly, she became aware of that same shrill voice as before yelling at her again. “Are you all rightaru? Whataru do you think you’re doing?!”

    She looked up and noticed it was not one, but two Tarutaru scolding her. One was concerned, and the other more angry than anything else.

    “I take it one of you knows who I’m supposed to be talkin’ to?” Lilani asked, pulling her tail around front to check for damage. The adrenaline rush managed to put her back into her familiar mood of casualness and sarcasm. It was a nice change from all the formality she laid on thickly for the guards and teleporter.

    The angry Tarutaru was the first to react. “You’re lucky-wucky to be talking at all, missie! Do you have any idea where you are?”

    Lilani, still examining her own body for scars, replied, “Yes, this is the Orastery and I was sent tah help Minister Ajido-Marujido with…” her voice faded for a moment as she picked off a bit of ash from her robe, “…something or otherrr.” She then took the time to look the Tarutaru in the eye. “That’s really what I’m herrre for now—I wasn’t told what exactly he needs help with.”

    The concerned Tarutaru took over, “Ah, so you’re the one who finally took thataru mission! We thought nobody-wuddy would ever take it in time. Introductions first, though, I am Hakkuru-Rinkuru and this is my companion Kuroido-Moido.”

    “Nice tah meet the two a’ you,” Lilani replied, tipping an invisible hat in greeting. “And I am Lilani.”

    “Well, Lilani, be more careful when stumbling-wumbling around the Orastery. There are always mages casting and always someone slipping-wipping up! And, believe you me; you never wantaru to be on the business end of those mistakes!”

    “Gotcha,” said Lilani. “Now, just what help did yer Minister need, anyways?”

    “Oh, rightaru, him,” Hakkuru-Rinkuru replied, rolling his eyes. “Minister Ajido-Marujido leftaru for the easternmost Horutoto Ruins tower in East Sarutabaruta a long timey-wime ago. Of course he had to send for help and then just up and leave anyway, so no matter who would end up accepting the mission he could still call them late…”

    Kuroido-Moido snorted, “That’s for sure—he’s so self centered in the first place it doesn’taru really matter what he thinks of you. Anyway, you’d bettaru head out there and see what needs to be done. Remember, the easternmost tower!”

    “Rrright,” Lilani replied, raising her index finger in the air.

    Lilani chose to rent a chocobo to make extra good time to the tower. She knew she had treated the two at the Orastery rather rudely, and regretted it some. However, she still decided to show her best to hopefully earn a good record the other mission-givers of Windurst.

    When she arrived at the tower, she dismounted her chocobo and gave it a slap in front of the tail-feathers to send it back to Windurst. It took off running, and Lilani entered the ruins.

    The main hall of the tower was an enormous square with rooms sprouting off each of the corners, and magical gizmos dotted on certain points of the hallway as well as inside these rooms. There were a few goblins and bats wandering around the corridors, however there was a look in Lilani’s eyes that warned them to stay back if they enjoyed breathing.

    Lilani made her way to the back wall of the square corridor and still couldn’t find the Minister everywhere. She even made another circle, checking every one of the rooms, however still no luck. She leaned against the back wall in thought, but just as she did, the wall opened and she fell back into the secret hallway.
    Last edited by Lilani; 08-05-2007, 08:41 AM.

    Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
    Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
    Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

    My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

    Susan>> Babies are just like people.
    Susan>> Just smaller.
    [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
    [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
    Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
    [GM]Dave>> ...
    [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.

  • #2
    Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

    As she lay on her back, Lilani tilted her head further up and looked at the upside-down corridor before her. “Aha!” she told herself as she hopped back up and went down the hall. There was one goblin standing outside a glowing door at the end of the hallway. He seemed to be trying to listen to something on the other side. He saw Lilani come up, and she shooed the thing away with her hand. The goblin put up no fight and ran towards the exit of the hallway.

    Lilani grinned with satisfaction, and ever so carefully pulled at the crack in the door. She knew there was obviously something interesting the goblin had been listening to, and she did not want to disturb whatever it was.

    When she opened the door just wide enough for her to sneak through, Lilani tiptoed through and pinned herself into a shadow in the corner. She didn’t close the door for fear that the sound would disturb the interesting conversation two Tarutaru were having on down the corridor. Lilani knew she was eavesdropping, but knew she could use her mission as an excuse for being there.

    “Apururu, if you haven’taru come to help me, than just what have you come all the way down here for?” asked a male Tarutaru, from somewhere behind a large glowing gizmo farther into the chamber.

    The other Tarutaru was standing just up the hall from Lilani, right in her view. “I’ve come keep you from doing something stupid, Ajido-Marujido! You know as well as I that this place is forbidden, as well as your pointless experimentarus!”

    “Pointless? You call seeking to reverse Windurst’s disintegration-wation pointless? Honestly, Sistaru, I thought I knew you better!” Ajido-Marujido nearly shouted. Lilani could sense a spike in the magical energy in the room as the argument heated. “Everything in and around Windurst is dying, Apururu, can’taru you feel it? Sarutabaruta is becoming a wasteland. These towers here lose more energy every day. Even our night skies seem to have fewer stars in them with each passing-wassing sunset!

    Everyone in Windurstaru can sense what’s going on, yet nobody will do anything about it! The Star Sibyl herself turns her back on the problem-woblem. I for one will not stand back and let our country fade into the abyss—I mustaru know what is going on here!”

    These words changed Lilani’s mood, and resonated in her mind for a long while. “Fade into the…abyss? Is it rrreally that bad?” she asked herself.

    Apururu spoke again, “Brother, you do notaru trust the Star Sibyl?” Tears began to form in her eyes. “If it is all really-weally as dire as you say, I’m sure she would have said something by now…”

    “The Star Sibyl fears another war, justaru as the rest of Windurst. That’s all you people are really hung up on—fear! I, for one, notaru let it hold me back!”

    This stung Apururu deep in her heart. Each race had its one great flaw in character, and for the Tarutaru it was fear. It was always an unspoken rule to never hold it against them, or any other race. It was the one thing they could never control or do anything about, and it hurt each race so to think of it. To directly insult one with their greatest flaw was the worst of all verbal curses.

    “F-f-fine then! If you want to turn your backy-wack on your country and family, don’taru let me stand in your way!”

    Apururu dashed towards the door with the tears still welled in her eyes. She was so distracted by her own emotions that she never noticed Lilani pinned in the corner. Lilani used the sound of the door opening and closing to her advantage, and slunk back to the middle of the hallway.

    She was still staring at the door in wonder of what had just happened. She was also concerned for Apururu, but before she could gather her thoughts, Ajido-Marujido called out. “And just who mightaru you be, Eavesdropper?”

    “I was sent out ‘errre to help you with yer mission, sir,” Lilani replied, wincing at how monotone the formality was making her sound.

    Ajido-Marujido paused for a moment, “Oh yeah, I forgot I even put that mission outaru…but either way it’s too late.” He turned around to face the ancient gizmo. “The gizmo you were supposed to help me restartaru has just broken down—again!”

    He stopped, distracted by his own musings. Lilani grew impatient. “So…what now?”

    Ajido sighed, “Now I’ll be going home, but I’ve got one lastaru thing for you to do.” He turned toward Lilani. “On your way in, did you see some smaller glowing-wowing gizmos in the corners of the corridors?” Lilani nodded. “Well, in each of those I placed a mana orb—a magical ball which grants magical energy to whatever it comes into contact with. I have a hunch one of those is broken, and that’s whataru caused my experiment to fail. Find the broken orb and bring it back to the Orastery.”

    Ajido-Marujido wasted no time in walking passed Lilani and heading towards the door. Lilani began following him out, but just before he got to the door he turned around. “Oh, and once you’re doing playing delivery-girl don’t spouting off about the argument you heard here, alrightaru?”

    “I had no intention, sirrr.”

    Ajido gave her an inquisitive look, “Strange accent you have there, who did you say you were?”

    “Lilani,” she said, growing a bit uneasy.

    “Humph, strange alias too.”

    Just before Lilani could reply, Ajido cast warp, leaving behind only a fading cloud of sparkles.

    Lilani threw up her head and sighed. Her very first mission, which had sounded of great importance in the beginning, had been reduced to a mere task of seek-and-return.

    The gizmo containing the cracked mana orb was the second to last one Lilani checked. She sighed for the sake of her own luck, and began the long trek home.

    Though all the events that had occurred that morning seemed to take so long, it was only noontime when Lilani arrived back in Windurst. Her stomach was growling and she knew she had some food stuffed away somewhere in her mog safe.

    Lilani walked to the residential area of Windurst Woods, talked to the Tarutaru there to get her things teleported back to her Windurst apartment, and approached her front door. Normally there would be a moogle at the door waiting to let you in, however Lilani had requested that her moogle remain on vacation for a bit longer so she could have some time to herself.

    For a moment, Lilani simply stood there. Her eyes moved from the doorknob, to the darkened windows of the house, and then back to the door again. Her mind began swirling with the dreads and fears and memories of the last time she had been in that room. She even began to wonder if it would happen again if she entered…

    “No,” she whispered to herself, “He’s dead now, it’s all over…”

    Surely enough, Lilani managed to safely enter her mog house and get the food out of her mog safe without incident. She contently munched on her food as she reflected on the events of her day so far.

    “Hm…that teleporter was pretty nice...but a bit of a lecher…I wonder what Rakoh Buuma was talking about before…And that Ajido-Marujido…how did he know about my alias…?”

    The thought of him knowing was more than she wanted to cope with for the moment, so she reached into her pocket to grab her linkpearl. It was a normal thing among adventurers to have linkpearls at the dinner table; especially if they had a few stories to share, and Lilani had a lot of explaining to do…

    “Ahoy, Vana’diel Brotherhood,” she boldly greeted.

    Nothing. No response.

    It had been so long since she had spoken to her linkshell, and so much had occurred since she had last spoken, that Lilani had expected an instantaneous reaction. However, there was nothing. The pearl didn’t even glow, signaling that it was functioning.

    “Ahoy? Ahoy? Anyone there? A—”

    The linkpearl shattered. Just like that, the tiny marble caved in upon itself, fell between Lilani’s fingers, and pinged upon the wooden floor as just a few sky-colored shards. Lilani gasped and quickly pulled out her pearlsack to see if it was true.

    It was just as she had feared. Every single one of the linkpearls inside her sack had shattered to only dust. Absolutely none had been left in working order.

    “They…disbanded? Without even a message…?”

    Lilani sighed and flung herself onto her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she mumbled her options to herself, “I don’t want to start my own…but there are some people advertising for their own linkshells ‘round ‘errre…no, I’ve had enough of strangers…but what’ll I do for the rrrest of the day…?”

    As she lied on her back, Lilani became drowsy and her mind wandered. Her consciousness drifted back into the last memories she had made in that room. As the memories came back, her stomach knotted and her body began to quake in horror. She forced herself out of the dream and blurted out the first idea that came to her mind.

    “I’ll…I’ll go do another mission!”

    Without even taking the time to brush the morning’s tangles out of her hair, Lilani leapt off her bed and set out to find Rakoh Buuma again. This time she was leaning back on the door behind her, keeping in the shade as much as possible.

    “You again? One mission not enough forrr you?”

    Lilani laughed, “No, ma’am, are there any other rrrank one missions available?”

    Rakoh sighed and checked her roster once more. “Yes, there’s one here that was just submitted by Minister Apururu.” Lilani’s throat tightened a bit as she heard the name. “Says she needs someone able and willing to rrrecharge some mana orbs for her. Figurrres, those things go out faster than a rarab in a wolf’s den…

    “Well, whaddya say, Adventurer?”

    “I’ll take it!”

    “Alrrright then, get yourself on down to the Manustery. Apururu will explain how you go about rrrecharging them.”

    “Thank ya.”

    As Lilani made the rather short walk to the Manustery from the gatehouse, she wondered if Apururu would recognize her—given that she’d seen her at all. She shrugged it off as she opened the Manustery door and entered.

    Apururu was sitting on a stool behind a desk, enveloped in two large stacks of papers on either side of her. If Lilani hadn’t have had the advantage of height, she would have never seen the Minister hiding behind the towers of papyrus and manuscript.

    Lilani walked right in front of the Minister and stood a moment. When she realized Apururu wasn’t going to look up, she cleared her throat, “Eh, Minister Apururu?”

    Apururu jumped, “Oh! I’m sorry, dearie, I didn’taru see you there! Is there something I can help you with?”

    Lilani smiled, mostly in relief that Apururu didn’t recognize her, “Yes, I’ve come to help rrrecharge some mana orbs for a mission.”

    “Ah yes, of course! I almostaru forgot about that, hehe!”

    Apururu hopped off of her stool and walked around her desk to stand in front of Lilani. She emerged holding a small sack that seemed to have several round objects in it.

    “In this sack I have here are six mana orbs. As you might already-weady know, the Manustery is responsible for creating and maintaining the Cardians, which serve several purposes around Windurst. Mana orbs are what keep the Cardians moving-woving.

    When these orbs run outaru of magic, the Cardian stops functioning, and needs a fresh mana orb to go on with its duties. Adventurer…oh, I never-wever like addressing you adventurers as ‘Adventurer.’ Whataru is your name, young lady?”

    “Lilani, ma’am,” Lilani said. She hadn’t introduced herself this many times in a single day since she’d first joined a linkshell.

    “Well, Lilani, I hereby charge you with the task of recharging these six mana orbs. Go to the southeastern-most tower in East Sarutabaruta—that tower’s the only one with enough juicy-wuce left to charge mana orbs. A guard named Pore-Ohre will be there to explain exactly-wactly how you should go about charge the orbs. Good luck~”

    Lilani decided to save herself the gil by going out Odin’s gate into East Sarutabaruta and walking to the tower, rather than riding a chocobo all the way across West Sarutabaruta. It was a more difficult hike than she had expected, and she took a small rest outside the tower wall before entering.

    Just as Lilani had been told, a Tarutaru was standing at the entrance to the tower she had been instructed to travel to. All she had to do was hold up the sack and Pore-Ohre explained to her how to charge the mana orbs.

    “All you have to do is place each of those orbies in gizmos scattered in the ruins. When they’re all in, flippy-wip a switch in the back and then it’s done! Justaru go back around, take the orbs out, and back to the Manustery with you! Be sure to get every-wevery one—if you forget any, you’ll have to come back before you can claim your reward!”

    Lilani did just as the Tarutaru said. Placing the orbs was simple—almost mundane—however the task of flipping the switch got her heart pumping. A Bomb monster was in the room with the switch. Lilani could tell she wasn’t strong enough to fight it, so she decided to deceive it. She propped open the stone door with her sword, and snuck over to the largest gizmo in the room while the Bomb was facing the other way (apparently beginning to doze). She felt around the odd structure a bit, but eventually struck the switch.

    Magic lit up the entire room she was in, and triggered many sounds and movements from mechanisms deep in the ruins and down the corridors.

    Of course, none of this got by the Bomb. It immediately turned around, gave Lilani an angered look, and roared as it began to charge.

    Lilani turned to face the Bomb, slammed her right foot in the ground, and roared right back at it.


    Her intense roar not only scared the wits out of the Bomb, but sent it into a frantic retreat. It fled to a corner in the room, whining like a defeated puppy.

    Lilani dashed to the door, swiped up her sword, and took off down the corridor nearly tumbling over herself in mirth. She was sure to round a few corners before she stopped her own retreat, and had to sit down to laugh herself out.

    “Ohoho…hee heh...ha ha ha!”

    Finally after a few drinks from her water flask and deep breaths, Lilani was able to compose herself and go on. She recollected the mana orbs from their receptacles, strolling past the few goblins that were dotted about the corridors. Before she went up the staircase out of the ruins, she did a second count to be sure she had completed her task. Surely enough, six orbs emitting a fresh, serene glow were nestled in the sack. Lilani smiled and jogged up the stairs.

    As Lilani approached the last five steps to the outside, something made her ears perk up, and she stopped. She closed her eyes and let her ears move themselves about and target the sound that interested her. She heard the whimper of a Tarutaru, and a rolling sound—sort of like what the wheels of a cart sound like on flat ground. She had no idea how the two could be connected, but she knew it wasn’t good. Lilani tucked the sack of orbs in her belt behind her, laid her hand on the hilt of her sword and ran up the steps.

    Lilani was abruptly startled by the scene she saw. When her eyes adjusted to the light coming from the entrance of the tunnel, she saw the silhouettes of four Cardians; though they were very different from the ones she had seen around Windurst. Their wheels and cloth were worn and faded, both from time and the elements. On top of their frayed looks, Lilani sensed much more power coming from these Cardians—power so heated and concentrated that it made her nose burn and her ears twitch.

    “What’s going on herrre?!” she demanded when she overcame her surprise.

    “What indeed!” the Cardian in the front bellowed back, in a strange, cracked voice. It was sort of like what one hears from an old pull-string doll. “Who are you, Mithra, and what is your business with the hearts of our brothers!”

    “Brotherrrs? Sorry to inform you, mate, but Cardians can’t have brothers...or hearts for that matter.”

    “Fool! The magical orbs you carry are our hearts! It seems the Tarutaru was telling the truth after all—it was you who had the lost hearts we were searching for.”

    Lilani’s left hand impulsively went to her side to cover the bag, while her right hand was still tightly gripped around her sword hilt. “I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about. These orbs weren’t stolen, they were given to me by the Ministerrr of the Manustery and—”

    “S-stop, stop!” Pore-Ohre sharply wimpered. “These Cardians you are rebuking are the Ace Cardians! They’ve got enough power-wower to kill us both in mere seconds! Justaru do what they want and live another day!”

    “I am not about to concede to a few staff-spinning scarrrecrows!” Lilani snapped back. The thought of surrender always made her blood boil, and only made her more persistant not to give in.

    The lead Cardian wheeled itself a bit closer to Lilani, with his “brothers” following his lead. “Impudent Mithra! I’ll give you one chance—surrender those hearts or we’ll not spare you or the Tarutaru!”

    “And what do you want them forrr?”

    “You are not in a position to be questioning! Either hand over the orbs or prepare to breath your last!”

    Rather than pointing his staff at her, he turned it towards Pore-Ohre and let a spark zap the ground right in front of his feet. The poor boy jumped clear in the air, turned to the wall, tucked down with his head covered by his hands, shaking like a leaf.

    Lilani rolled her eyes. “Ah, fine, if it means you’ll leave us alone.” She heaved a heavy sigh and held out the sack to the Cardian. The doll hastily swiped the bag from her and turned to his three companions. They opened the bag and looked inside, however one Cardian continued to point his staff to Lilani and Pore.

    “All the orbs seem to be accounted for…our business is done here!”

    The leader turned back to Lilani. “You’ve saved your life for now, Mithra, but you will someday regret crossing the Ace Cardians!”

    The Cardians wasted no time in wheeling themselves out of the tower and over the farthest hilltop, far out of sight. Lilani finally relaxed and looked down at Pore-Ohre, who was still cowering in a fetal position.

    “Hey, buddy, they’re gone.”

    “H-hm?” Pore turned himself around and took a look for himself, as if he didn’t believe Lilani’s word. “Whewy-whew-ew! Thank the goddess!” he cried. “I thought for surey-wure we were going to be goners there!”

    Lilani chuckled in amusement over his cowardice, “Yeah, we’rrre fine, and now I’ve got nothing to take to Minister Apururu…”

    “Justaru tell her what happened here and everything will be fine. This isn’taru the first time those thuggies have made off with the Manustery’s mana orbs. I’m sure she’ll give you a little something-wumthing for your trouble.”

    “Ah, thanks…and don’t get yourrrself hurt.”

    Lilani did as Pore-Ohre said and explained everything to Apururu. When she was done, Apururu sighed and walked around her desk just as she’d done before. Apparently, the desk simply made her feel trapped and unwelcoming.

    “Well, Lilani, poor Pore-Ohre was rightaru—this certainly isn’t the first time those Cardians have stolen charged mana orbs off of adventurers like yourself. You see, as I told you before, Cardians need a charged mana orb within them to function-wunction. We at the Manustery compare them to hearts because of this, and so the Ace Cardians took on the same idea.

    Those particularu Cardians dissapeared to be just after the Great War ended. They somehow escaped and turned wild, and now thataru they have no master to take orders from, they follow their own guidance, as it were. Now they are devoted to seeking out and gathering mana orbs, somehow convinced that they will be able to revive other Cardians which were destroyed during the war…

    But, thataru part of the story simply doesn’t make sense,” Apururu continued. “A trained mage of the Manustery is needed to revitalize a Cardian. I just don’taru know what they hope to accomplish from harvesting mana orbs and terrorizing travelers…”

    Apururu paused for a moment to ponder on her own musings, but she finally returned her attention to Lilani. “Oh, sorry—none of thataru is really your problem. I thank you for your hard work, Lilani, you were very-wery brave in front of those Cardians! Even though you lost the orbs, I will reward you in full.”

    Apururu pulled a rather large sack of gil from her pocket and handed it to Lilani. “I can see a lot of potential within you, Lilani, I’m sure you will go far in this adventuring business. Take care, and ta-taru!”

    “Thank you, ma’am, you take care too.”

    Lilani looked up at the sky to check the time. It was now the early evening, and she was glad she had managed to kill so much time. She decided to throw a self-celebration by going out to dinner at Windurst’s local tavern.

    When she entered the Timbre Timbers tavern, Lilani ordered her meal at the front and waited for it to be prepared. She looked around the restaurant for an empty table, however found none. When her food came, she decided to simply stand in the corner and eat.

    Lilani was quite content to simply stand in the corner, eating as she spaced out staring at the other patrons of the restaurant. Just as she found the perfect way to comfortably lean into the corner, she noticed a Hume beconing her over to his table. He had long blonde hair, and so much reminded her of him that she couldn’t help but blankly stare into his eyes…


    Yes, this is the end D:
    Last edited by Lilani; 08-05-2007, 08:40 AM.

    Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
    Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
    Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

    My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

    Susan>> Babies are just like people.
    Susan>> Just smaller.
    [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
    [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
    Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
    [GM]Dave>> ...
    [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.


    • #3
      Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

      havent been on here in... well a long time, heh...
      WOOO!!! go lilani! lol... i like it ^^ keep it going
      Hestraxen >> Hey Ejo, what'cha doin?
      Ejospike >> playin with animals...
      Hestraxen >> ??? oh, you're leveling BST?
      Ejospike >> um... no, not really
      Hestraxen >> What are you doing then...?
      Ejospike >> *zips up pants* nothing now


      • #4
        Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

        No duh, Ejo, I've been emailing them to you Well it might be hard because I have a job now, but I think I'll get the next chapter up. The third still isn't done, heh.

        And by the way Ejo, could I have the next chapter of your story? Or are you that far yet?

        Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
        Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
        Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

        My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

        Susan>> Babies are just like people.
        Susan>> Just smaller.
        [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
        [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
        Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
        [GM]Dave>> ...
        [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.


        • #5
          Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

          i have completed my story i just... kinda forgot what was the last part i sent you...
          Hestraxen >> Hey Ejo, what'cha doin?
          Ejospike >> playin with animals...
          Hestraxen >> ??? oh, you're leveling BST?
          Ejospike >> um... no, not really
          Hestraxen >> What are you doing then...?
          Ejospike >> *zips up pants* nothing now


          • #6
            Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

            I just had one qualm about it, otherwise I thought it was great.

            asked the unmistakable voice of Ajido-Marujido
            She would know that How? =/

            Yay, Ty for this Eohmer~

            Silentsteel - Taru of Awesomeness on Valefor

            80 Whm, 86 Drg, 40 Sam, 37 Blm, 31 Smn, & lower as it goes down... I have way too much play time for no levels, lol.


            • #7
              Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

              Originally posted by silentsteel View Post
              I just had one qualm about it, otherwise I thought it was great.

              She would know that How? =/
              ...Actually, on second thought, I think I'll change that. I thought I had something to make it work, but it's just too much of a stretch.
              Last edited by Lilani; 08-05-2007, 08:37 AM.

              Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
              Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
              Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

              My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

              Susan>> Babies are just like people.
              Susan>> Just smaller.
              [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
              [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
              Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
              [GM]Dave>> ...
              [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.


              • #8
                Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                And, by the way, no this is not based on real events.

                Chapter Two: Breaking Point

                The Hume was beginning to become uncomfortable with how oddly Lilani was just staring at him. He waved his hand to make sure she was all there, and finally she came to her senses. Lilani’s first impulse finally kicked in, and she adamantly refused to approach the stranger. The Hume insisted, gesturing to a free chair next to himself, though it was only him at the table anyway.

                Lilani shook her head, and shyly cowered down further into the corner. The Hume finally shrugged in defeat and went back to his own meal.

                Lilani sighed with relief, but couldn’t help but feel bad for how rude she’d been. She replayed the events and possible scenarios in her mind, and decided that there wasn’t much danger in that room. If anything were to happen, she would easily be able to attract the attention of someone else in the tavern and have the problem taken care of. She carried her food over to the table and began with an apology.

                “Eh…sorry I was so rude back therrre, I’m just a bit tired from the day…tha’s all.”

                “Hey, it’s no problem, I’ve been there plenty of times myself.” The Hume responded with a smile, scooting his chair away a bit to give her more space. “My name’s Kenshin, and you are…?”

                “Lilani,” was her abrupt reply.

                “Nice to meet you, Lilani.” With that, Kenshin held out his hand for a handshake. At first, Lilani just stared at it as if he were offering her some sort of foreign object. She shook his hand and locked her eyes on her own meal, though her body was on full alert, tracking Kenshin’s every movement and advance. Kenshin returned to his meal as well.

                The two sat in silence for a moment, one expecting the other to begin the conversation. Finally, Kenshin turned to Lilani. “So, Lilani, I take it you’re an adventurer?”

                “Y-yah, I completed my firrrst two missions just today.”

                “That’s good. Yeah, the first few missions are a bit boring, but things can really get interesting as you go up the ranks.” He took another bite of his sandwich, swallowed, and went on. “So do you have a linkshell?”

                “I was in one, but they disbanded just…rrrecently.”

                “Oh I’m sorry. That’s too bad…what did it in? Lack of members? Unruly members…?”

                “I…uh…I’m not rrreally sure. There was a lot of arguing, but I never expected them to just up and quit,” Even though Lilani was mostly fibbing, she couldn’t help but feel comfortable around the strange man. She took it and embraced it as a great sign of recovery.

                “Ah, I see. Well, maybe they’ll decide to reunite later. You never know sometimes…” he trailed off to take another bite of his sandwich and a sip of his drink. “Hey, I’ve got my own linkshell if you’re interested. We call ourselves Abandon…long story behind the name, but they’re a great group of people.”

                “Hm…” Lilani did some thinking of her own as she ate. “I’m no’ surrre,” she managed to say around her food. She swallowed. “I wanted to get anotherrr linkshell, but…”


                “Well, I ‘ave this…eh…thing, against…i-intrrroductions…”

                Kenshin giggled, “I get it, you’re shy. Well I assure you, they won’t remain strangers for long. I’ve made it clear to everyone that we don’t pry for personal information someone doesn’t want to give out. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

                Lilani turned to Kenshin. He was looking straight into her eyes—straight through her. It was as if he knew everything that had happened to her…it was as if he had chosen her because of her past. Lilani’s lips parted and her face was the very picture of stupor. Kenshin was startled by the face, “Are…you okay?”

                Lilani shook her head to regain her senses, “Eh, yes, I am…but therrre’s someth—” Lilani quickly shut her mouth and locked her eyes on her food. She had gotten far too comfortable with the stranger. She was beginning to reveal too much.

                “There’s what?”

                “Nothing, nothing, nothing…” Lilani said, but then she suddenly felt…regret? She felt regret for not having told him the truth. She realized that she wanted to tell this man everything. She was utterly confused. Lilani had told herself from the beginning that she would never tell a soul—nonetheless a stranger she had just met—but every nerve in her body was egging her on.

                Lilani’s mindset switched over to her behaviorisms in battle, to take some sort of action in the midst of her bamboozlement. She began to put her actions before her logic. She grabbed Kenshin’s hand, and pulled him out of the tavern.

                Kenshin was now as confused as Lilani. She had pulled him into a small, dark, hidden space under a stairway. The only light provided other than from the dim magical lamps around the buildings was of the nearly full moon hanging high in the sky. Kenshin could barely see Lilani in that shaded place, however Lilani’s eyes had no problem at all.

                “Lilani? Lilani…what’s wrong?”

                At first Lilani couldn’t figure out why Kenshin was speaking in such a concerned manner, but then she became aware of what she was doing. She was leaning up against the building, hunched forward with her arms crossed, and she was heaving very deep and audible breaths. Her lungs were burning as if she had just run twenty miles, and her throat was swelling shut.

                She managed to switch her focus long enough to steady her breathing and relax her muscles. Lilani noticed Kenshin’s hands were on her still-crossed arms. She twitched from the impulse to pull away, but the thought of someone near comforted her and she let them be.

                Kenshin asked again, “Are you okay?”

                Lilani swallowed hard and nodded. “T-t-therrre’s…something…I wanted…to tell you,” she managed.

                “Alright, I’m listening.”

                Lilani looked up into Kenshin’s eyes. They were staring right back into hers. She closed her eyes, uncrossed her arms, and breathed tightly through her nose. “Okay…oh, where to start…?”

                “You see…a few months ago I was herrre with a friend. He was a Hume…looked a lot like you…a-and he showed me around. I met some grumpy Tarutaru with glasses, turns out he was one of the Ministers, and…I’m getting off topic aren’t I?”

                “Just slow down, I’m in no hurry.”

                “Okay,” Lilani swallowed again. “Well, the Hume’s name was Miles. He took me ‘errre for the one year anniversary of the day I joined his linkshell, Vana’diel Brotherhood. The co-founderrr of this linkshell, and one of Miles’ best friends, was an Elvann—Geraldioux. Geraldioux fell in love with me when we firrrst met at Kazham, the same day I first met Miles and fell in love with him.

                “But…what he thought was love…was really…lust. He constantly made advances…but I neverrr thought much of it. Where I come from…Mithra just don’t have problems with men wanting ‘em, nonetheless makin’ advances…

                “Anyway, it wasn’t long before Geraldioux realized I liked Miles more than ‘im. Soon enough, the two were fightin’ like cats and dogs.”

                At this point, tears were forming in Lilani’s eyes. Kenshin held on even tighter, as he sensed how hard this was for her.

                “Those fights…it torrre them apart. And by them I don’t just mean Miles and Geraldioux—I mean the whole linkshell. We were supposed to rrrrepresent the harmony that was possible between all the races, but the only thing tha’ began to matter was whose side you werrre on. The only times the arguing stopped was when I interrrvened and said enough, or when you turned off yer linkshell.”

                “Finally, at our one yearrr anniversary…everything snapped. Just as we headed to Windurst Geraldioux accused Miles, for the umpteenth time, of favoring a member of the linkshell over the rest—something which was ferrrbidden of the leaders to do. We got to the Mea crystal and Miles simply turrrned his linkshell off, and so did I. It was fairrrly peaceful ride in, and we had a wonderrrful day just walking around…

                “But in the end, Miles and I decided that it would be best fer him to meet with Geraldioux in Jeuno to talk things overrr. He couldn’t get a teleport so he took a chocobo and decided to ride overrrnight.

                “I went to my mog house for the night…and there he was…Geraldioux…”

                Lilani just barely managed to whisper his name. She was losing it again, her throat was closing and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

                Kenshin whispered, “You don’t have to finish if you don’t want to.”

                “No,” Lilani gasped. “I need to say it. Geraldioux spoke forrr a long time…he was a dark knight and used magic to keep me quiet and then he…h-he…raped, me.”

                Lilani bit down hard onto her bottom lip and heaved a huge breath. Kenshin’s eyes widened and he formed a face of grave worry. Lilani couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed his shoulders, put her head on his chest, and wept. They stood there for several minutes, and to Lilani, it felt like hours. Kenshin put his hand on her head and slowly stroked her hair. He had no idea why she was telling all this to him, but he wasn’t about to leave her. When Lilani finally looked up, she half expected to see the sun rising in the sky.

                After several deep breaths, Lilani was finally ready to finish her story. “A-a-after G-Geraldioux…before he put me to sleep, h-he told me that…that Miles was no morrre! H-he said that Yagudo had gotten to him in the Sauromugue Campaign b-but…I’m positive ‘e killed him!”

                Kenshin looked into her eyes, “Lilani…I’m so sorry…” was all he could manage at first. He was beginning to choke up himself. “Are you afraid Geraldioux is still after you?”

                “No, no…I’m sure he’s not…” Lilani wiped her eyes. “You see, for six days I just sat there in my mog house…I had no idea what to do…I didn’t even touch ma linkshell. But when I finally managed to pick it up, I only listened at firrrst. They were talking about…funeral arrangements! What Geraldioux had said…it was all trrrue! B-but, I’m still sure it was him, not the Yagudo that did Miles in, I’m positive!

                “A-and that wasn’t all. They werrre also talking about Garaldioux as well—he was found just the day beforrre in Valkurm Dunes, dead too! A goblin ambush they said…but I don’t think that’s…”

                Lilani choked up once more, and Kenshin did not urge her to go on. He understood.

                He tried to change the subject, “And, your linkshell? Is this why they disbanded?”

                “I guess…” Lilani said to her feet. “I found out just today that they had left without a worrrd…”

                Kenshin hugged Lilani, “I’m just so sorry…is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all—just ask.”

                Lilani looked up, confused. “You mean…y-you believe me?”

                “Yes…why wouldn’t I? I met Miles once on an airship, he was a very nice man.”

                “Yeah he was…thank you…”

                They stood for a moment in silence. Lilani thought about what Kenshin had asked her. She had lost her appetite, and all she really wanted was to go home and be alone to cry herself out without shame. But she knew she would feel bad if she simply left the man who voluntarily gave her a crying shoulder.

                She got an idea, “Kenshin…you said you have a linkshell?”

                “Yes, Abandon, are you interested? I promise, if anyone asks for your story, I’ll confront them at once. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

                “Yes…I would love to join yer linkshell.”

                “Alright. But first, you’re going to have to let go a second,” Kenshin whispered, laughing softly. Lilani laughed in spite of herself and unglued herself from his torso. Kenshin smiled as he pulled out an orange, palm-sized seashell from one of his side pouches. He stuck a finger in the end, and after a little wrestling, he managed to work out one marble-sized, bright orange pearl. He handed it to Lilani, “And there you are. I’m sure most everyone is asleep by now, so you can introduce yourself in the morning if you like.”

                “Thank you…so much,” Lilani said, still internally trying to hold everything together. “This means so much to me…p-please don’t tell anyone!” she quickly gasped.

                Kenshin laughed softly again, “You have nothing to worry about. I’ll never tell a soul.”

                Lilani looked into his eyes once more before leaving. “Thanks. Good night Mi—er, Kenshin.”

                In that moment, Lilani figured it out. She was comfortable with that man because of his resemblance to Miles. Lilani couldn’t help but feel cool and humbled as she walked in the moonlight, back to her mog house. As she crossed a bridge, alone as a single night star, she whispered to the wind, “Thank you, Miles.”

                Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
                Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
                Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

                My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

                Susan>> Babies are just like people.
                Susan>> Just smaller.
                [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
                [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
                Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
                [GM]Dave>> ...
                [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.


                • #9
                  Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                  Oh, and if anyone here is from Fairy, I'll use this post as a guide to tell you who the people are supposed to be from our server:

                  Miles = Miles (Haven't seen him in forever ; ; my first real friend in game)
                  Kenshin = Neokenshin
                  Striffy = Striffy (This one is sort of in the works, I may change this soon)
                  Nahtivel = Nahtivel (his name worked out quite well, he's an Elvaan)
                  Danius-Marcus = Danry
                  Rydenel = Ryden
                  Poof = Poof (I'm sure some of you are very, very excited, but it might take me a while to get her worked in).
                  DS = Darksided

                  I'll be getting more in as I figure out who's going to be in the story And maybe even some that aren't in my linkshell...
                  Last edited by Lilani; 08-20-2007, 04:44 AM.

                  Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
                  Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
                  Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

                  My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

                  Susan>> Babies are just like people.
                  Susan>> Just smaller.
                  [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
                  [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
                  Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
                  [GM]Dave>> ...
                  [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.


                  • #10
                    Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                    Interesting, although it did seem a bit fast to reveal the character's backstory so soon, regardless of the fact that Kenshin resembled Miles. It just kinda triggered a "Huh?!" feeling in me.

                    Other than that, not bad.


                    • #11
                      Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                      Yeah, I really wondered if I should do it that fast, but I was afraid if I didn't reveal something about her it would be boring. Don't worry, the rest of the story shouldn't be quite as fast

                      Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
                      Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
                      Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

                      My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

                      Susan>> Babies are just like people.
                      Susan>> Just smaller.
                      [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
                      [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
                      Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
                      [GM]Dave>> ...
                      [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.


                      • #12
                        Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                        Well, boring it certainly was not, but it's a matter of fine balance between revealing the history of a person quick enough to keep the reader's interest in them, and pacing their story out to keep them reading; finding said balance is difficult, and requires just plain trail-and-error at times. Everyone goes through it when writing at one point or another.

                        Otherwise, this is a good start to an individual's view of one of the National Branch missions (Windy in this case).


                        • #13
                          Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                          awww wish i would have been in your LS, i wanna be in a story for once instead of writing them This is very good, very very good. I just started writing the next story of mine that focuses more around the life of a hume, maybe i'll post it up here, doesn't really involve many people except my close friends, even if they aren't in my linkshell or even on my server. I used to be in Siren and Fenrir so I have a few friends from there still.
                          Last edited by Ejospike; 08-07-2007, 06:55 PM.
                          Hestraxen >> Hey Ejo, what'cha doin?
                          Ejospike >> playin with animals...
                          Hestraxen >> ??? oh, you're leveling BST?
                          Ejospike >> um... no, not really
                          Hestraxen >> What are you doing then...?
                          Ejospike >> *zips up pants* nothing now


                          • #14
                            Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                            Alright, here we are! Chapter three. Sorry it took so long (having flashbacks to my last FF...) I actually didn't know where I was going with this chapter for a while, but I got bored in one of my classes and started outlining my plans for the story. Now that I've gotten things in order, I can give you the first chapter I actually thought out in advance!

                            And by the way, I decided to introduce Poof in this chapter rather than waiting a while. The opportunity came, and I seized it.

                            Chapter Three: A Strange New Member of the Unusual Family

                            Contrary to what she had expected, Lilani slept very well that night. She felt relieved. The weight which had been on her shoulders so long was now lighter, and it made her feel almost weightless as she flopped into bed. She had a peaceful, restful, dreamless sleep. The only time Lilani felt regret was when she had to wake up again.

                            When Lilani did finally decide to get out of bed, she first rolled over and looked at her nightstand. She could now see it clearly, for it was midmorning. After a few moments of absently staring at the unlit candle on the stand, Lilani groaned and lifted herself out of bed.

                            Lilani noticed her right hip was particularly sore. She reached into that pocket and pulled out the orange linkpearl Kenshin had given her.

                            “So…it wasn’t a dream then,” she muttered to herself. Lilani was sitting there, staring into that metallic linkpearl the same way she had been looking at her pearl from Vana’diel Brotherhood when they disbanded. She squeezed the linkshell, half expecting it to break. But it didn’t; it became warm and glowed a very pretty tangerine orange. The linkshell message, which was a short phrase magically recorded by any linkshell or pearlsack holder and played to all who equipped their linkpearls, was as follows:

                            “Franky needs some sort of key, Yunu needs help with a mission, Nahtivel needs a life, let’s get it done people…”

                            Lilani didn’t know any of those people, but she couldn’t help but snigger. She always loved hearing inside jokes, even if she didn’t know anyone in them.

                            A Tarutaru’s voice emitted from the pearl, “Good morning, you’re up early!”

                            The voice made Lilani jump; she didn’t realize she was in range of being heard. She decided to ignore it and hoped it would go away. She wasn’t quite ready to be introduced yet.

                            The Tarutaru spoke again, “Hmm, I swear I heard something. Maybe it is too early…”

                            “Eh, actually…I’m…new herrre…” Lilani muttered, feeling ashamed that she made the poor boy seem foolish.

                            “Ah a noobie! And what mightaru your name be?”

                            “Lilani, and yerrrs?

                            ”You can call me Striffy,” the Tarutaru proudly replied. “So who brought you to this wonderfully strange linkshell, Lilani?”

                            “Kenshin, I met him last night at a taverrrn.”

                            “Ooooh, Kenshin! Well if he invited you, he must see something great in you indeed!”

                            Lilani blushed, “Aw, thank you, Striffy. So…uh…what are a few of the names of the others in this shell?”

                            “Well, the first ones you’ll meetaru are DS, Nahtivel, and Yunu. Those three were going to be getting up early to do something in the Temple of Ugly—that’s whataru we call the Temple of Uggalepih.”

                            “Sounds like you all are a tightly-knit group,” Lilani mused aloud, beginning to think a new linkshell wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

                            “So, Lilani, if you don’taru mind my asking, where are you from? Your voice sounds a bit different from other Mithra I’ve listened too.”

                            “Oh…I was rrraised in Kazham. Some of us Mithra talk a bit different there,” Lilani recited. It was a lie which she had been using since she had first begun adventuring.

                            “Ah, that makes sense,” Striffy replied. “Well, I hope you find Abandon to be a wonderful group. Everyone may seem to be a bit off kilter-wilter at first, but you’ll get used to it.”

                            “Oh! And two things before they all come on: Rydenel and Nahtivel are cousins, but they argue like brothers, so try not to get caught up in their squabbles. Also, DS is one of the three leaders of the shell, along with Ryden and Kenshin. We believe his real name is Darsille, or something like thataru, but he hates it with a passion, so we all just call him DS.”

                            “Striffy…” A new voice muttered.

                            “Oh! Crap!”

                            There was a sharp silence, and Lilani wondered if her linkpearl had stopped working. But soon, the third voice came back.

                            “Striffy, did you just say what I think you said.”

                            “I—er, yeah DS, but she’s a new member!”

                            “New member? I don’t remember anyone telling me we had a new member…” Lilani was having trouble deciding if DS was angry, surprised, or just drowsy.

                            “Kenshin recruited her last nightaru in Windurst. This morning’s her first time on.”

                            “Does this new recruit come with a name?”

                            “Yes, Lilani.”

                            “And Lilani speak for herself?”

                            Striffy began mumbling some things, though they seemed to be too low for the linkshell to pick up. Lilani took it as a cue. “Yes, I can, DS. It’s nice to meet you, Strrriffy has made me feel quite welcome.”

                            “Then I guess it’s my job to make you feel unwelcome.” DS replied with a sigh. “Here in Abandon, we have two rules: treat everyone with the respect they deserve, and if you want help you have to offer an equal amount in return.

                            The third is sort of unwritten: when your level gets high enough, you become the pawn of myself, Kenshin, and Rydenel. You are to go where we ask when we ask it, without question or bellyaching. Get it?”

                            “Got it.”

                            “Good,” DS said. “Welcome to Abandon—I hope abandoning your soul to us was an enjoyable process for you.”

                            “I think you’ve scared the poor girl enough, DS.” This voice was yet again new. Lilani could tell it was a female Hume.

                            “Darla…when did you get on?”

                            “Just in time, apparently,” Darla replied with a soft giggle. “Lilani, what DS said was true, but I think it will be a while before you are required to participate in the guys’ misguided escapades…”

                            “I object,” DS interrupted. “They are not misguided.”

                            “Oh? And what was your last “adventure?” A purposefully undermanned garrison just to see if it could be done without having to call on too many favors? And before that, massacring Mandragora to harvest dozens of cornettes for some doctor in Windurst?”

                            “Alright, alright, you’ve made your point. Either way, I think it’ll be a while before this kid is ready to join the big leagues.”

                            Lilani was slightly offended, but still couldn’t tell if he was being completely serious. Darla simply giggled.

                            “Well, Lilani, as a new member we are obliged to leave you alone for a while, to make sure you can stand every one of us,” said Darla. “Hope you find Abandon as enjoyable as I do!”

                            “I hope I do too, Darla,” Lilani laughed, beginning to stretch out on her bed. “I’ll be gone for a while now, I need to get ready for the day.”

                            After Lilani dressed and stretched, she turned the linkshell back on, however put it in a pouch attached to her tunic. There was a mechanism in the linkpearl that allowed her to hear what was going on, however nobody else around her. All linkshells and linkpearls work like this, so that others around the user aren’t distracted or offended by what the members might be saying.

                            Lilani used the morning to prepare herself for another mission. She had heard that the last mission before you rank up tends to be harder, like a test to see if you truly have what it takes. She ate a hearty breakfast at the tavern, and kept her eyes and ears open for Kenshin. She saw no sign of him, and went to her mog house to read and digest—exercising on a full stomach is never a good idea.

                            She read a novel about Windurst during the Great War, from the perspective of a poet whose family was wiped out by the end of it. As she read, she also picked up on exchanges and even arguments between the members of Abandon. Quite a few times she had to introduce herself to new members turning their pearls on, and each time she was greeted warmly with a hint of jesting remarks.

                            At noon, Lilani ate a light lunch and started heading off to the gatehouse in Windurst Waters. On the way, she saw none other than Ajido-Marujido and Apururu—again. They were huddled next to an outside wall of the Optistery talking in hushed voices, and neither of them looked happy. Ajido opened his mouth to try and cut off what his sister was whispering, but then he saw Lilani in the corner of his eye. At first he was stunned to see her there, at that very time, and Lilani was rather surprised as well. Apururu looked over as well and soon recognized her as well. She glanced between Ajido and Lilani for a moment, and then asked her brother something.

                            Ajido shook his head and continued rebuking his sister, but his eyes kept drifting to Lilani every few seconds. Lilani realized neither of them was willing to admit they were familiar with each other, and walked off as if she had seen nothing.

                            Hm, it’s like I can’t get away from them…” she thought to herself as she continued on to the gatehouse.

                            Mokyokyo was the Tarutaru who was in charge at Leviathan’s Gate. Lilani chose a different gatehouse so she could become familiar with all of them, and so perhaps they would all put in a good word for her when the missions became more dangerous. However, when Lilani arrived, there were already a few adventurers lined up in front of the Tarutaru.

                            Lilani reluctantly placed herself at the back of the line, and listened in and learn if there were still some missions available. As she listened, she realized all of the adventurers knew each other, and were arguing with Mokyokyo. The head of the group was a blonde female Tarutaru. She was wearing the garb of a melee, had a small brown pot strung around her shoulder, and had two exotic looking axes equipped on her sides not suitable for a warrior. Lilani guessed that might be a beastmaster.

                            “Aren’t you listening, you gatehouse goonie!? I am Poof! The leader of the elite and expansive linkshell that bears my name! I ask you again, do you have any missions that involve even a bit of danger, and don’t stench with boredom?!”

                            Lilani did not have to listen hard to hear what Poof was saying. In fact, everyone in the area could hear Poof with ease. The other members of her shell cheered her on, and insisted she continue. Mokyokyo sighed and slapped her forehead. “I’ve told you a dozen-wozen times now, we only have rank one and two missions right now! Here in Windurst, we do not allow rank ones and twos to take very dangerous missions, and so we reserve the more dangerous missions for the higher ranks. The most dangerous tasky-wask we have right now is taking an offering of cherries to Giddeus. If that’s not enough danger for you, then you’re just outaru of luck!”

                            Poof’s face formed an aghast look of disgusted awe on. She was so surprised by the telling off, that at first all she could do was stand there and sputter a few fragments.

                            “Well you just…I oughta…you little…! Arg!” Poof slammed her foot on the ground in rage. In her fury, a bit of stress-induced mana enhanced her stomp, and it made a deafening crash and reverberated on the rock walls for several seconds. Obviously, Poof was at least at some time a powerful mage.

                            The stomp let out some of Poof’s aggravation, and she finally found the words she had been looking for. “I have connections, you cheat! I’ll make sure every adventurer, traveler, merchant, and crawler on Vana’diel knows that this gatehouse in Windurst is no place to find work worthy of seeking out! This is a travesty—a-an insult upon this fair and beautiful country! I’ll be taking this to the top—the Star Sibyl will hear about this!

                            “Poofians, we’re leaving!” Poof concluded, marching off toward the gate and signaling to her colleagues behind her to follow. Throughout the tirade, they sniggered and sneered at the helpless guards, who didn’t seem to be negatively affected by the abuse.

                            When the linkshell was out of earshot, Mokyokyo sighed and put her hand on her forehead. “Oh, that Poof…one day…”

                            After a few moments of silent musing, one of the two guards coughed rather loudly, and Mokyokyo looked up. “Oh, sorry-worry! I didn’t see you there. How can I help you today?”

                            Lilani smiled, “I was actually looking for a mission, my name is Lilani.”

                            Mokyokyo pulled out a clipboard of her own, “Hm, let’s see…Lilani…Ah, here you are! It says here that just yesterday you completed two mission-wissions, and you’re one mission away from rank two.” Lilani nodded. “Well, I think I’ve got justaru the thing for you. That mission I just tried to explain to Poof there, I think it’s just the one for you. It was sent in by the Rhinostery. I could probably explain everything to you herey-were, but that would leave nothing for Leppe-Hoppe to say!

                            You’ll find the boy on the roof of the Rhinostery, directaruly south from here,” Mokyokyo concluded, pointing in the respective direction.

                            Lilani went to the Rhinostery as commanded, and listened to Leppe-Hoppe explain the situation in rhyme. Basically, Windurst and the Yagudo have a peace treaty to prevent war, and Windurst gives the Yagudo at Giddeus offerings on a regular basis to keep them on friendly terms. The offerings consist of cherries which the Yagudo particularly enjoy, and a rare and valuable drink, a wine, Lilani assumed. It was up to Lilani to deliver the cherries and wine to Giddeus, as it was too dangerous for a normal person to walk directly into enemy territory.

                            Lilani was a bit disappointed. She was hoping that the last mission of rank one would involve a bit more danger than yet another delivery run. However she took the items with dignity, and set off on foot.

                            When Lilani finally reached the entrance to Giddeus, she took a deep breath and opened her ears wide. According to what Leppe-Hoppe said, Giddeus was a valuable and well protected stronghold, and the Yagudo may not positively react to her arrival. Lilani prepared herself for an ambush.

                            However, there was none. In fact, on the way in, the only creatures she passed were a few bees. Even they didn’t seem to care about her presence.

                            Lilani was particularly surprised by a female Elvaan she passed on one of the corridors. The Elvaan seemed perfectly calm, and tipped her hat as they passed each other. Lilani smiled, thoroughly perplexed. “A well guarded stronghold…yet they let adventurers roam frrree? How strange…

                            After a winding through a maze of pathways, Lilani finally hit an opening. It was a large room with a waterway on one side, and a few random bees buzzing around the tops of some shrubs. There was the mouth of a cave opposite to where Lilani was, and a Yagudo was leaning against the wall rather lazily. Lilani approached, holding the offerings in plain sight in front of her.

                            “I come rrrepresenting the Federation of Windurst, bearing offerings of peace to the Yagudo,” she recited, bowing on one knee just as Leppe-Hoppe instructed.

                            The Yagudo rolled his eyes. “Thanks,” he grumbled. He reached out and grabbed the bag of cherries, popping one into his mouth.

                            Lilani stayed on one knee and waited for him to take the flask of wine as well, but he did not. He looked back at her, seeming to wonder why she was still there.

                            “Aren’t you going to take the flask as well?” Lilani asked, with as much courtesy as she could muster.

                            “Nope, I’m only supposed to take the cherries, kah!” he responded, greedily dropping several more down his gullet.

                            “Then…wherrre am I supposed to take the flask?” she asked, standing back up.

                            “Kah, fool!” he spat before he gave his answer, “There is another Yagudo in an area like this one farther west. He’ll take your flask, and then you can go home.”

                            Lilani was certainly not happy, but she managed to mumble a thanks before walking off.

                            After several more minutes of twisting and turning, Lilani finally found the other Yagudo. He took the flask with about the same amount of courtesy as the previous Yagudo she spoke with. Lilani was joyful to be leaving the place, and began the long walk back to the Rhinostery so that she could report to Leppe-Hoppe and get her reward.

                            When Lilani climbed up the stairs to the roof of the Rhinostery, she heard a familiar voice speaking, and then Leppe-Hoppe responding. Very quietly, she made her way up the rest of the stairs and silently listened in on the conversation.

                            “…You said that the last time I was here!” Ajido-Marujido told Leppe-Hoppe in a slightly hushed voice. “I don’taru see why you can’t, you have no objections to what I’m asking, and you are acting in the stead of your Minister, correct?”

                            “Minister Rukususu specifically told me to lend nobody her ring,” Leppe-Hoppe adamantly stated. “And you have yet to address the complications unlocking the Priming Gate would bring! I am to act in the way Rukususu would, and I’m sure she would not approve of this,” his voice hushed to a whisper. “You are right in that we would like to research the Great Beast’s lair, but as far as we know, Fenrir no longer even exists!”

                            “Well then this is your chance to find outaru for sure!” Ajido insisted. “We could accomplish two things at once, you could research the Great Beast, and I could explore the laboratory of Karaha-Baru…”

                            Ajido-Marujido’s voice faded, noticing Leppe-Hoppe was looking past him. He turned around to spot Lilani, who waved rather awkwardly. Ajido turned back to Leppe-Hoppe. “Well I’ll give you time to think on it. Ta-taru!”

                            Before even letting Leppe-Hoppe respond, Ajido ran off to Port Windurst. As he passed Lilani, he looked at her with great scrutiny, making her a bit comfortable. Lilani watched him running for a moment, but then Leppe-Hoppe got her attention.

                            “Ahem!” Lilani turned. “I see you’re back from Giddeus in once piece! I suppose you completed your crusade for peace?” he asked.

                            Lilani opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off. “Eh, don’taru mind Minister Ajido-Marujido there, he’s been trying to stir trouble, rumor has it… Goddess knows what trouble he’ll get into for the crimes he wants to commit…” He shrugged off the thought. “Anyway, that’s all I needed you to do! Your reward is at the gatehouse, and I speak for the whole Rhinostery when I say ‘Thank you!’”

                            Lilani smiled, “No prrroblem.”

                            At the gatehouse, Lilani received a meager 1000 gil, however she was also granted rank two. She giggled at the thought of the rather low rank being worth more than the money she received.

                            On top of that, the events of that afternoon had let her right into the evening, and it was time for Lilani to head home. Lilani decided to take the long way around Port to get a glimpse of the sunset on the beautiful bay.

                            As she passed the Orastery, there were no citizens to be seen, however Lilani yet again came across none other than Ajido-Marujido, who was locking the doors to the mage academy. She swallowed, “Bah, forgot about him…dangit.” She thought, trying to hurry by and pretend like she didn’t notice.

                            However, Ajido-Marujido was far from not noticing. He slammed the door closed, jammed the key in, and then quickly ran after Lilani. “Oi, you!”

                            Lilani sighed, turning on heel on heel. “Yes?”

                            “Are you following me or something? Ever since that mission-wission yesterday I’ve seen you everywhere! What is your problem?”

                            “No, I’m not. I couldn’t tell you why we keep running into each otherrr,” she quietly said, only hoping not to attract unwanted attention.

                            Ajido pushed up his spectacles, “Then why were you at the Rhinostery today, huh? Do you really expect me to believe that you were justaru there to smell the glowing roses?”

                            “Actually I was on a mission for the Rhinostery, and why does this bother you so much?” Lilani asked, knowing in her gut that she was rather curious about why they kept meeting up as well.

                            “Humph, fine. But if I catch you sneaking around, don’taru think for a second I won’t notice,” he said, walking off in a huff. He didn't like giving up easily, but he had no grounds to ask her anymore questions, and she would have good reason to report him of he pried too far.

                            Lilani sighed, looking at the sunset. The encounter had spoiled the mood, and she walked to her mog house with her eyes fixed on the ground.

                            When Lilani arrived, she wasn’t hungry, and just flopped onto her bed. After a moment, she remembered and turned her linkshell back on—she had turned it off in Giddeus, as she thought that the sight of her talking on a linkshell might arouse suspicion.

                            She had turned it on in the middle of a conversation.

                            “…Yeah she hasn’t really been on much today. She turned it off a little while ago, said she had some mission to do,” the voice of someone she hadn’t yet met commented.

                            Lilani smirked, “She was hiding from the arrrgumentative terds she’s heard so much about all day.”

                            “Ah, Lilani, there you are!” Kenshin’s voice greeted. Lilani could hear him smiling. “So, what do you think of our odd little family so far? We haven’t given you that much trouble, have we?”

                            “Hey Kenshin. No, not much trouble at all, rrreally. I think I might just stick around for a while.”

                            “Wonderful!” the first voice replied. “Will you be coming to Jeuno for our little gathering, then?”

                            “Jeuno? What gathering?”

                            Kenshin giggled softly. “Nahtivel is getting a little ahead of himself. In a week and a half, myself and some others are going to gather in Jeuno to chat and catch up. I mean, just because we’re in the same linkshell doesn’t mean we often get the chance to sit down and really talk. What do you think? It would be a great chance to meet some more of us and get used to the way we are.”

                            “Aye, sounds great Kenshin, I think I just might,” Lilani quickly replied, focused on the thought of seeing Kenshin again and not how long it would take to get there and back.

                            “Perfect! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

                            Lilani suddenly remembered one of her reasons for coming on, “Kenshin? Where did you go today? I was around Windurst, but I couldn’t find you anywhere…did you leave?”

                            “Oh, yes, I’m sorry about that! Rydenel and Darla asked me to help them out in the Valkurm Dunes, so I had to get a teleport early this morning.”

                            “Ah, I see, it’s no prrroblem. It’s just I thought you were my friend, so…”

                            “I am your friend, Lilani! It’s just…I…”

                            Lilani started laughing. “I get it, I get it! I was just messin’ with ya, silly.”

                            “Hah! You certainly have a cruel sense of humor.”

                            “Crrruel? Maybe you just can’t take a joke!”

                            The jabbing and witty retorts went on for a while, other members joining and choosing sides as they will, until Lilani was too tired to make up comebacks.

                            “I’d better go to bed now, guys, all these terrible puns and jokes ‘ave hurt me too much to go on…”

                            The others laughed, and after a few more witty retorts, they all wished her sweet dreams.
                            Last edited by Lilani; 08-20-2007, 04:42 AM.

                            Main Job: 70RDM/BLM or WHM ~ Fairy (I hate you, Maat)
                            Currently Leveling: 49WHM/BLM
                            Windurst Rank 10 ~ As of 5/25/07! Woot!

                            My Fanfiction (please read, or at least skim!)

                            Susan>> Babies are just like people.
                            Susan>> Just smaller.
                            [GM]Dave>> But I don't like people.
                            [GM]Dave>> I hate people.
                            Susan>> Babies are like small people that can't talk.
                            [GM]Dave>> ...
                            [GM]Dave>> I'm listening.


                            • #15
                              Re: New Fanfiction, need some thoughts...

                              yay, lilani i made a character on Fairy server and i kept checking often for about 2 weeks and i even ran into Neokenshin @.@ But i didnt find you give me a time so i can find you on Fairy
                              Hestraxen >> Hey Ejo, what'cha doin?
                              Ejospike >> playin with animals...
                              Hestraxen >> ??? oh, you're leveling BST?
                              Ejospike >> um... no, not really
                              Hestraxen >> What are you doing then...?
                              Ejospike >> *zips up pants* nothing now