FFXI for Dummies - My dealings with N00bs, Dorks & Dipsh*ts.

[Nahimana]

Hi! Brand new journal from a relatively new person to this board.

Mind you, I am a nice person, but completely sarcastic...in a funny way. These are my adventures in dealing with the n00bs and dorks and your basic garden variety asshats while adventuring in Vana'diel. I like most noobs. Most noobs are just that, new to the game and figuring it out. NP. We were all noobs at one time. N00bs on the other hand are those that have been playing for some time and you are amazed by it because they dont seem to have the intelligence to remember how to breathe without machine support, let alone figure the complexities of pressing buttons on a keyboard/controller. The latter are the n00bs I am referring to.

So sit back, grab some popcorn and maybe some kool-aid and be prepared to be amazed at the blatent stupidity of some and annoyed at the idiocy of others and lighthearted at the simple and sometimes complex comedic genius of those around me.


To start you out with a taste of my Vana'diel life:


Some random dude who spammed a shout 3 times as he was running hellbent for leather from a Wight: WARNING!!! 3 WIGHTS 2 BANSHEES. STAY BY THE ENTRANCE UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE OR ARE AT LEAST LVL 30+!!

N00bie: >>Are you sure the wights don't aggro

Me: I've never been aggroed by one yet.

N00bie: >>Oh. Ok.

/noobie runs by and get aggroed
/em runs past the battle unscathed

n00bie in a tell to me...

N00bie:>>I thought you said they don't aggro?!?
Me>> No. I said I've never been aggroed by one yet.
N00bie:>> Great. Now I'm dead.
Me>> So sorry. Should have waited for dawn or give him a wide berth running by while his back was turned.
N00bie:>> Man, you suck. I'll never party with you.
Me>> Awww wll, that's too bad. I've never let a guy in my party die when I've been a healer. Your loss sucka.
N00bie:>> Hey wait! Can you ask for a Raise for me?
...1 minute goes by
N00bie:>>Hello??
N00bie:>>Are you still there??
N00bie:>> Helloooooo?
N00bie:>> #$%^&*&^%$#$%^ (Goes back to hp in wherdafugarewe)

/say Ahaha. Stupid n00b.

There ya go. Now I know a lot of people complain about the stupidity of people in the game and have clenched their teeth in frustration a number of times. Sadly, the only way to cure stupidity is to neuter the older stupid people so they cant make younger stupid people as well as neutering the younger stupid people so they cant grow up to make more younger stupid people and eventually they would all die out.

Then again, if we didnt have the stupid n00bs, who else would we get to attract the attention of the baddies so we can run on by without fear of being aggro'd?!?

[Pepsi]

You're an ass. ><

[gestahr]

Hrm...I was hoping this thread would have more WAR's who won't provoke/WHM's who won't cure, but instead it has new people to the game being given intentionally misleading information.

One question, however; what conversation took place before "Are you sure the wights don't aggro"? It seems odd that someone would speak to someone else for the first time in a tone that indicated that person had told them something before, you know?

[Boss_Tuff]

I actually find that to be rather funny. The old bait and lure trick,you should always be careful of any mob ina new area that you go to. It's called observation.

[Grodo]

u could of told the guy they did other than that u not got arggo yet

and how u said stupid noob at the end i dont find that funny if u really want to point out a noob go to gamefaq cause that all they do

[gestahr]

It seems to me that the person who was mislead was quite observant. You can't check a monster to see if it will aggro you, so s/he observed that it was dangerous and asked someone if there was a chance of aggro. It's easy to laugh at, but how would you feel if you were the one who was mislead?

[Boss_Tuff]

So you automatically run past a mob after someone says it doesn't aggro? You don't observe other peoples reactions to the mob? I would never venture out into an area until I've watched what other people do and how they react to a mob in the area. Also, if you're in an area where parties level up monsters are going to aggro, it's should be common knowledge. Also if you read the original poster's post you'd notice that someone had just run to the zone saying that everyone should stay away unless they want to die. I'd think after being warned 3 times that someone would stay away. That's observation.

[gestahr]

If the person asking the question assumed they were going to be lied to, they wouldn't have asked the question. They asked the question hoping that a (seemingly) experienced player would be able to give them an answer that would help them. Instead, the experienced player intentionally mislead the other player in the hope of benefitting from their death.

Secondly, any area where you can fight a mob is going to have mobs that will aggro. Certain mobs will aggro, certain mobs won't. Given that the asker of the question was supposedly a "n00b", it's entirely possible that they'd not yet encountered any skeletal monsters up until that point, which is why they asked the question in the first place.

To be completely honest, (even though I have been)my point was never to defend the person who ran out and was killed by a Wight; I agree, they should have been more careful. My issue lies with the person who intentionally gave someone misinformation in order to benefit from it. That's not funny, it's an asshole thing to do.

[Nahimana]

Ok, to clear up confusion for those of you bent at me:

This particular guy had shouted "Do those monsters aggro?" about 3/4 times after the first guy ran by with the warning. (He had also been cured by me and someone else after he was aggro'ed by a Giant and trained him to where everyone was waiting for the wights and banshees to disappear. Luckily for him, a party voked it off of him).

Anyhoo, the first time he was told yes and no by several different people.

The second time he was told YES, yes, and HELL YEAH by several different people, including myself.

The 3rd time he was told YES THEY AGGRO NOW STOP ASKING!

Then he /tells me "Are you sure the Wights don't aggro"

...and the story continues along the lines I've told it.

The story isn't very funny when you have to include each and every damn detail and it gets rather longwinded when having to do so and rather than post a tedious post where the humour gets lost, I shortened it to the part where it got interesting.

Now Pepsi and Gestahr, you can unknot your shorts. I'm not an ass and more than once I have died and deleveled myself trying to help some random person that needed help because he caused a gob train or bat train etc.

If you found my story to be offensive, then I apologize and will ask that you stop reading my journal since I will be posting more of these types of stories, starting with the next post.

[Nahimana]

I trained a Giraffe (Dhamel) and was having it beat up another Giraffe while I started whomping on a 3rd. I guess the 2 giraffes fighting decided to move a bit so all 3 were hovering over me and someone tried to voke off one of them.

So I said, "Dude, what are you doing?"

N00b "I'm trying to help you but I can't cast any spells for some reason."

Me - "Dude, I'm a Beastmaster, it's ok."

N00b - "A what?"

Me - "Beastmaster. I can charm animals into being my slaves and make them fight for me."

N00b - "I didn't see that job when I started this game. I must have gotten an old version because my guidebook didn't list beastmaster as a job."

Me - checks the dude and sees that he's a lvl 13 BlackMage. "It's an advanced job"

N00b - "An advanced job?"

Me - "Yeah"

N00b - "Do they have other advanced jobs? Or is it just Beastmaster?"

Me - "No, they have maybe 6 other advanced jobs (I list the jobs)

N00b - "Wow, that's cool. Where do I get the quest to get an advanced job?"

Me - "You can't get the quests unless you have a job at 30"

N00b - "I don't make that much. I only work part time"

Me - "!?! >.<"

N00b - "Is that Japanese? I don't speak Japanese, sorry."

Giraffes are done fighting so I type
/em sicks the Dhamel after N00b and says "Tear him to pieces boy!"

N00b - "NO! DON'T MAKE HIM ATTACK ME! WTF???"

then I type
/em casts IQBooster on N00b (I really cast Aquaviel on myself)
N00b resists IQBooster. BrainDrain is in effect.

N00b - "I was just trying to help because I thought you were being attacked. You don't have to attack me.
N00b - "Stop casting magic at me and don't make your Dhamel attack me either or I will cast back on it and kill it. I'll leave you alone."

Me - "[Please use the auto-translate function.]"

[gestahr]

To be completely honest, the first story seems a lot funnier with the added details, so please consider my shorts un-knotted.

[Nahimana]

Ok, good. I'm not a mean person, really ^^

Next time I will add an abbreviated version of details

[canine]

You are an ass. :\

[Pepsi]

that last story you wrote is so made up ...


(P.S. - once again, you're an ass. ><)

[Boss_Tuff]

Albeit I do admit the second story does sound a bit far fetched, I don't think you realize how stupid some people can be on our server. I don't think she's done anything to be considered an 'ass', she just hasn't gone out of her way to be nice. No one says you have to help someone new, hell, the most Japanese people hate us because we're newer to the game. It's just the same mentality.