Welcome back.
Played WHM to 75 on a previous character, was mithra, and my highest max mp pool got to 1480. I was pretty popular in SKY/HNM hehe.
If it was me, I'd say find any piece of gear w/+MP or -enmity on it and stick w/it, as a rule of thumb. I liked to play with the maximum MP possible you can obtain and lowest aggro rate. My definition of WHM = magic stamina. If your pool can last a terribly long time, then xp chains will never be a problem for virtually any situation you can encounter as WHM. Plus, being able to Curaga 1-4 in party w/o aggro = priceless.
I personally would not focus on any MND, Enfeebling Magic, or any other stats. (Though +HP is not a bad idea.) This is just me. I always felt if I was doing anything else in party besides: healing, casting anti-spells, or buffing, with the occasional Flash spell mixxed in for a tank, then I was potentially putting my party at risk of dying. And given this, you really have to time your anti/bar/flash spells to ensure no one suddenly gets in an emergency and needs an immediate cure. Some people and their playstyles will disagree that MND and Enfeeblemagic are important for certain situations. I'll let them elaborate.
To answer your questions:
1.) For primary food, I'd use Marron Glace after you start to hit the 650+ range of your MP pool. It will give you an addlt MP+13% (Cap: 85@653Base MP) +1MP Heal, lasts 3 hours.
Prior to that, you can use two things: Rolanberry Pie for +50MP lasts 30 mins & Snoll Gelato +16%MP (Cap:
75@468 base MP) MP Heal +1, lasts 30 mins.
Another alternative is Wizard Cookies, MP Heal +7, Resist Slow, Plantoid Killer.
Pineapple Juice, is a lost cost alternative to Yagudo... 1MP / 3 seconds lasts 4 mins (80 total), usually runs about 5-6k per stack most servers (can buy at npc vendor's like in Lower Jeuno.) Otherwise, Yagudo = uber.
2.) In a nutshell, anything +MP. Several pieces of the Elvaan RSE, the hands +24, legs +12, and feet +20 are actually very good for MP. Other gear until LV50+ and AF is as follows:
Weapon: Dolphin Staff, Whale Staff
Head: Electrum Hairpin, Gold Hairpin
Body: Mage's Robe, Royal Squire's Robe
Neck: Holy Phial
Earrings: Energy Earrings, Magician's Earring, Geist Earring, Astral Earring
Rings: Astrals & Ether (You said you had astrals, upgrade to ther for 5mp more)
Back: Talisman Cape
Waist: Talisman Obi, Powerful Rope
Ammo: Morion Tathlum
I think it will go without saying that you will be using Light Staff for the rest of your career as your main weapon. There is also Healing Staff +50MP +10% Curing and Askelpios, a club that gives you 25 Convert Hp to Mp and +5% curing. Couple that with a shield like Astral Aspis 25 Convert hp to mp, and you're doing quite well. When you get AF, you'll probably stick with only 1 or two pieces, preferably the Body piece. It's very good all situations considered. Otherwise, Hands are good. They give you 10MP + 15 healing magic skill (if you're terribly intent on getting the max healing skill), but the -4 enmity is substantial. Legs are beneficial. Try to mix and match your MP + -Enmity to where you have enough to be comfortable casting Curaga's in battle + Flash.
After level, 60, as long as you keep to +mp & -enmity and finding gear to maximize both of these stats, you'll be above par, on the high end of the WHM playstyle. Vermillion Cloak is a nice piece of equipment to own. The +1 Refresh coupled w/SMN refresh is quite uber. Noble's Tunic is ultimately what you're shooting for. Otherwise, Blessed Tunic gives 7%MP and this is what I had on my mithra.
3.) Erase @32 is a must. You're tanking and melee friends will appreciate you indefinitely if you can erase crawler slow from 32-40. (Afterwards, Haste gets rid of it, but Erase can be a better MP expense vs trying to get rid of crawler slow on 4 ppl in pt.)
Flash is beneficial for a NIN tank if he/she is between blinks and needs some help w/trying to get a blink off. It's also use for the PLD tank if you need to buy a few seconds to accomplish something. Ensure you manage your hate and keep track of it mentally as best as you can to ensure you don't pull way too much hate from your curing/flashing. Usually, its best to flash 1 - 2 times per battle. And be careful with flashing and using Curaga same battle. You'll definitely start tanking for a few hits if you do. But then again, its useful to get the tank out of a bad situation.
All Teleport spells. This will make you money, besides the obvious locomotive ability your WHM will have.
Divine Veil, while not so much a spell as an ability, is gained at LV50 and invaluable to help you save time in xp and hnms/sky/dyn/cop, etc. It's an AoE effect to your anti spells and Erase. As an example of its usefulness, if you're fighting a Giant Ram (sheep mob) and suddenly have Great Bleat (max hp down debuff) on 5 party members, you'll want to quickly use Divine Seal + Erase to remove it and follow up with a curaga 1 or 2. You won't encounter any of this until merit pts, but Divine Veil is a huge time saver to cast anti-spells on the group.
Reraise spells 1, 2, and 3. These will save your party from disbanding.
I hope this helps you in some way. While playing the WHM job quintessentially is one of the most boring jobs in the game, if you have the right attitude, it can be a big adrenline rush. Keep in mind that its better to protect others than tear them down.
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