[Sabaron]

A friend of mine brought this to my attention and I thought it was moderately amusing...

Travel Tips for Japanese Tourists | Gunaxin

Originally Posted by http://www.gunaxin.com/travel-tips-for-japanese-coming-to-america/8926

Apparently this is an e-mail currently circulating on the internets. I personally don’t get much of this stuff anymore, as I threatened to stink palm anyone who forwarded anymore crap to me. However this one is a particularly funny piece, and I would like to thank the folks at YepYep for bringing it to my attention. The original poster is supposedly a American ex-patriot that is currently living in Japan. Not sure how legit it is, but since when has that stopped us from posting something in the past? Enjoy.

I’m going back to the US for Christmas tomorrow! Yay!
My travel agent has, thoughtfully, seen fit to provide me with a pamphlet of helpful tips to make my overseas travel less of an anxiety-filled social minefield riddled with white people and guns. I got such a kick out of these that I wanted to share. (I picked most of the fun ones. There are a lot of boring tips too.)
* The yen is very strong against the dollar right now. This will make goods in America seem very cheap — an excellent opportunity for shopping! However, remember to be polite in your use of money — America is in the middle of economic malaise right now, and Japanese people with wads of money in their hand might be looked on with envy. Besides, if you are obviously wealthy in an American city, you may be robbed.
* For our valued customers who work in the automotive industry [#1 employer where I live], we advise discretion. If you must say where you work, the preferred phrasing is [English] “I work at the car company”.
* Most Americans are very polite, particularly outside of the big cities. However, outside of the big cities, everyone owns guns. Inside the big cities, almost everyone owns guns. Let’s be polite together!
* If you go shopping at an American department store, they will ask you if you want to open a credit card account. They are *not* asking whether you want to use a credit card. This may seem strange but it is an American custom to offer customers a credit card, in order to make them spend more money. We suggest politely declining offers of credit cards. You may have to politely decline several times. Don’t think of this as rude, the Americans have to do it too.
* Most Americans think we look like Chinese or Koreans. Try not to be too offended.
* Most Americans will think that a Japanese person standing on the street is an American, unless they are holding a camera. If you are not comfortable speaking English, you might try bringing along a camera to say “I am a tourist, please don’t expect me to speak English.” Except, don’t try this in the big cities — tourists get mugged in big cities.
* Americans have a social institution called a “gratuity”. Basically, the price on the menu at any place which serves food is not the real price. The real price is 20% higher. You have to calculate 20%, write it under the subtotal, and sum to arrive at the real price. Taxis work the same way. It is considered very rude not to pay the “gratuity”.

Gunaxin’s video interlude: This clip (NSFW) seemed appropriate at this point :
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reading:

* In general, Americans consider it impolite to discuss politics. However, this January Obama will become the new president, and many people are excited! If they ask you what you think of him, a safe answer is [English] “Obama is really cool.” or [English] “Obama speaks so well. Not like me. Hehe.” Be very careful when pronouncing his name. O BA MA, just like Obama City. [Ask me later. Hilarity abounds.]
* Most big cities have Japanese food available. You may have to look hard, though — ask your hotel for some place to eat tempura. Restaurants which say they serve sushi probably only serve makizushi, like California rolls. (Americans think California rolls are [English] “sushi”.) If a restaurant says [English] “Asian” they really mean Chinese. They are probably not really Chinese, either.
* Ladies: if you shop for clothes, ask for where to find [English] “petite”. It means normal sized. Ladies who are petite may have difficulty finding clothes which fit in America, except at specialty shops.
* McDonalds: Has no teriyaki burger in America. Portions are bigger and food is cheaper. Sometimes the person taking the order does not speak English. Please relax! They probably understand the set menu, although it is called [English] “combo”, and you can hold up the number with your hands as shown. [Snip of chart for how Americans count on their fingers, which is actually different than how Japanese people count on their fingers, hence the need for a chart.]
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish work and start packing. Toothbrush, shirts, camera, bullet-proof vest, wad of monopoly money, you know, the bare necessities.

[Balfree]

Lmao, this reminded me of a slightly on-topic video too:

YouTube - sushi

YouTube - sushi

Also, I must confirm the part about the clothes... i must look at 2 labels when buying clothes, the US size label and the EU size label, lawl.

[TheGrandMom]

Ya those pamphlets are real. I have a couple older ones packed away somewhere. When my JP friend comes to visit he brings me odd JP things like that. Ads for homes (they are really interesting), a warning sign JP's have to put in their cars if you are a new driver, tissue packs with funny adverstising, etc are some of the things he's given me. I would have a field day, if I went over there, collecting all the odd little items.

[Ameroth]

Travel Tip #666:

Spare Me My Life

Spare Me My Life

!

[Balfree]

Ameroth, Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!1

[wrongfeifong]

seriously, did any of you guys even follow air gear on those weekly manga?

I have a feeling Obama will sue them very soon.

[LilithAngel]

Having been here for three and a half years, the Japanese really can't surprise me much anymore.

[Feba]

Would someone explain to me how this is funny, please?

EDIT: not being sarcastic. I'm genuinely confused.

[TheGrandMom]

Feba, the videos are spoofs of japanese culture. The problem is the jp's sense of humor is a bit different than ours. LOL Kind of like British humor sometimes coming across as HUH? here in the states. (Sorry Bal ) Also if you don't know a lot about Japanese culture then it is sorta WTF. I just about choked on my apple when watching the sushi video though. lolololol

[Sabaron]

Originally Posted by TheGrandMom

Feba, the videos are spoofs of japanese culture. The problem is the jp's sense of humor is a bit different than ours. LOL Kind of like British humor sometimes coming across as HUH? here in the states. (Sorry Bal ) Also if you don't know a lot about Japanese culture then it is sorta WTF. I just about choked on my apple when watching the sushi video though. lolololol

Yes, the sushi video is awesome. It's poking fun at Japanese manners with an over-inflation of anal retentiveness, but some of it is just playfully overt wrongness (eating off shoes, wiping the floor with your napkin). If I was Japanese, I know that I would love to watch a pair of American's in a sushi bar go "Maa maa maa maa", "Oh to to to" while pouring beer.

The second video is sort of an exaggeration of an instructional video for non-English speaking Japanese tourists showing what to say if you get mugged which is (apparently) a great and common fear that Japanese tourists have when coming to the US.

As far as eating sushi goes... I recommend eating however you want to--It's your food, just make sure you maintain the 45 degree angle when eating.

[Feba]

I get the videos, I've seen them before. I'm talking about the tips in the OP.

[Sabaron]

Originally Posted by Feba

I get the videos, I've seen them before. I'm talking about the tips in the OP.

They're a selection of quotations from a pamphlet for Japanese tourists of unknown validity. If real they're really funny. If fake, they're kinda funny. TGM says they're real--I was on the fence to whether or not they are actual quotations because the person who created the original post stated that they were circulating in an email forward. They depict (with IMO a great deal of exaggeration) the ideas that Japanese people have about American culture.

For instance, everyone you meet on the street is packin' heat, so you should be very polite. Make sure to wear a camera so that Americans can distinguish you from Japanese-Americans.

[Feba]

I get the context. How is it funny though?

[Balfree]

*bitchslaps feba*

Go back to your corner!

Its funny ONLY for cool cats. If its not funny for you, so what?

*push*

[Caspian]

It satirically pokes fun at our own culture. Americans not knowing what real Japanese food is. The entire concept of gratuity. The fact that many people own guns. The fact that we're so full of ourselves that we don't learn to distinguish between other races. Our high crime rate. And how many businesses employ people in the customer service industry that can't speak the commonly spoken language of the country.