What's your pet peeve in RL?

[Melody]

Buh, you need a new doctor. It seems to me like he/she was very dismissive and even minimized your problems, which is a sign of a bad doctor. If anything, he may have made the situation worse. Being on a medication is fine and it shouldn't make you feel any worse to have a prescription. People are resilient, but sometimes the pressure is too much and they begin to spiral downward. If you feel like your attempts to improve are having no effect, it's best to be preventative and locate a real professional. Once you're feeling back on your feet, you wean yourself off the medication, put it all behind, and move forward knowing you've a solution if it should ever arise again.

I understand Dak. There are days I feel like complete shit though and I don't even feel like getting out of bed. Talking to some people seems like a real hassle since I don't want to say the wrong thing. I know there are pills that are out there that curve the effect. But to me it feels like I am a puppet dancing on strings and having the pill do the work for me. Plus addictive persona's run in my family, I don't want to be that druggie hyped up on Uppers because I can't cope with the downward helix that comes when being off of them. I guess it's like being a smoker putting on the patch to curve the fits, taking it off and then just crashing. I don't see the optimism in doing that at all. I just don't, as for the doctor I didn't really ask what his "profession" was, but it seemed he some what "knew" what was wrong or perhaps that's just me speaking in layman's terms in hopes that maybe someone or anyone could help me and the whole "PHD" thing seemed like a silver lining to me so I went for it. Right now I feel fine, since I am playing Minecraft, nothing really get's to me unless of course it's family in which this case I hate dealing with them, I am not sure if my depression/light dementia is stemming from the social akwardness I had as a teenager. I never really spoke to anyone in my family or my school for that matter. My daily routine.

-Wake up
-Eat Breakfast
-Get Dressed
-Catch The Bus (I always sat by myself. If someone did sit with me, I just took the window seat and didn't bother to acknowledge the presence next to me. I do this on Public Buses as well.)
-Go to school (I always really sat either off to the left side of the room and tried to keep away from other students as much as possible. Not sure if it was a teen-thing or a anti-social type deal.) I also always waited until after class to bombard my teachers with questions. They'd look at me dumbfounded wondering why I never raised my hand. Yeah I paid attention but I never really spoke.
-I went through my Sophmore Junior and Senior year virtually mute. During my Senior year a student approached me who I noticed was in my homeroom of the year before and he even told me, "You never spoke once in Homeroom." I honestly didn't, I also never stood during the pledge of alliegance (which I got sent the office for, multiple times)
-Did my homework and usually just came home and either A) Sat on my computer B) Slept or C) Ride my bike in my neighboorhood.

Yeah I had bullying issues (but who didn't) the only real bad case was when I was sick during my senior year and missed an entire semester so I had to make the class up in summer school in which I got punched in the face for being too quiet and I guess brainy. I had gotten ambushed when I went to walk home. Yeah there were witnesses, but I pleaded them not to speak a word of the assault. I just walked home and my mother threw a hissy fit when she saw my face was swollen and bruised. I tried to lie and say I fell down and hit the rock wall on the way home. But unfortunately (she took martial arts) and knew what a punch to the face looked like. So in short I am not sure what my triggers are Dak, it could be my family due to not speaking openly to them or my pent up school irritation that I held for everyone I loathed. Not to mention the amount of stress I went through when my grandparents passed on.

Also when I began Final Fantasy XI I was thrilled, it served as an outlet, an escape for me to use to keep outside world problems away. But my reality was more or less warped when I realized the game was just like real life itself, only pixelated, which is why I never got along with people in Linkshells. I also exhibited a very bitchy in-game persona which I came to regret since I ended up being hated on a variety of servers which is why I moved half the time. The server I am on now is very good, but my mood is like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, I don't know when I will suddenly feel angry and just flip out on people around me. I want to learn how to control these outburst so I am not burning bridges left and right. Since I might snap on someone one day and it will be the wrong person and I might just end up six feet under or buried alive with concrete over the casket. In short, I've been playing XI with a small group of friends and now with Raydeus, I'm using him as a shoulder to cry on (which is bad) I know but he gives a lot of moral support where I need it the most.

[DakAttack]

A pill can't do the work for you, which is why you'd need a good talking psychiatrist. They'll know their medications (since it often takes a few tries to find the right one) and they'll help you sort things out, make goals, and achieve them. You can take the pills and do nothing else, but you'll find you're just ignoring the problems and they wont truly go away until you meet them head-on.

Also, I think you're exaggerating the effects of the medications. If they're making you feel anything but normal, then you're taking the wrong drug or on the wrong dose.

[Melody]

A pill can't do the work for you, which is why you'd need a good talking psychiatrist. They'll know their medications (since it often takes a few tries to find the right one) and they'll help you sort things out, make goals, and achieve them. You can take the pills and do nothing else, but you'll find you're just ignoring the problems and they wont truly go away until you meet them head-on.

Also, I think you're exaggerating the effects of the medications. If they're making you feel anything but normal, then you're taking the wrong drug or on the wrong dose.

But usually most psychiatrist do the same thing. They tell you something and dismiss you, some of them I've spoken to, but there was one I had for 7 years and he retired. I liked speaking with him since he would piss me off, and would simply get to the root of why that particular thing made me angry. He really helped me cope with a lot of my stress. I saw him every Wed. for 2 hours. I wish I knew where he was living so I could talk to him. I might call his old job and look him up again to see if we can hold some sessions at my house. He won't take payment either...so I do believe he is a good choice. Thank You Dak.

[cidbahamut]

Fuck SharePoint.

Fuck it right in the ass.

[Melody]

That reminds me I need to check the Anti-Peeve thread. My only peeve right now is not being able to find a Gold Match on Mass Effect 3 which the host doesn't leave....if they leave it restarts the damn wave and I am not sure if we keep the credits from the wave that gets restarted. -_-

[Satori]

If you'd said to me what you've said in this forum in a private consultation,
It'd be my professional opinion to suggest to the doctor I work with to investigate the paths of Bi-polar disorder, asbergers syndrome or maybe you score high on the autism scale.
It's hard for me to tell exactly because I only have text as a source of information. If I were reading case notes, the conditions I mentioned above would be the first thing that comes to mind.
How old are you may I ask?
Dementia is rare in young people but early onset dementia is gradually increasing. In the decade I've been a nurse I see it more now than I ever have.
FFXI was amazing for me when I suffered with depression. I had a great social linkshell and made great friends "e-friends" Even though I've never met them some of them I regard truly close friends.

I suggest returning to work at least part time, You can't sit and stew nothing will change if you dont want it to.
For me pills made me feel numb, I felt neither happy or sad, I just was,
Pills will take a few weeks to take effect, If you want to try a low dose and fairly safe one, I can recommend Escitalopram. Its the anti-depressant most people start off on.

But only take it if it has been prescribed, dont go buying any off the internet, you'll end up with chalk, asprin, and rat poison.

Finding a professional to talk to may be beneficial to you as it sounds like you have a lot of baggage. Not a shrink though, Shrinks are so invasive.
Cognitive therapy may be useful in dealing with stressfull situations and help you work out yourself what is wrong.

Sorry if I sound like an asshole,

[Melody]

If you'd said to me what you've said in this forum in a private consultation,
It'd be my professional opinion to suggest to the doctor I work with to investigate the paths of Bi-polar disorder, asbergers syndrome or maybe you score high on the autism scale.
It's hard for me to tell exactly because I only have text as a source of information. If I were reading case notes, the conditions I mentioned above would be the first thing that comes to mind.
How old are you may I ask?
Dementia is rare in young people but early onset dementia is gradually increasing. In the decade I've been a nurse I see it more now than I ever have.
FFXI was amazing for me when I suffered with depression. I had a great social linkshell and made great friends "e-friends" Even though I've never met them some of them I regard truly close friends.

I suggest returning to work at least part time, You can't sit and stew nothing will change if you dont want it to.
For me pills made me feel numb, I felt neither happy or sad, I just was,
Pills will take a few weeks to take effect, If you want to try a low dose and fairly safe one, I can recommend Escitalopram. Its the anti-depressant most people start off on.

But only take it if it has been prescribed, dont go buying any off the internet, you'll end up with chalk, asprin, and rat poison.

Finding a professional to talk to may be beneficial to you as it sounds like you have a lot of baggage. Not a shrink though, Shrinks are so invasive.
Cognitive therapy may be useful in dealing with stressfull situations and help you work out yourself what is wrong.

Sorry if I sound like an asshole,

No. No. Not at all. It's fine. I'm 22. You seem to know your medical histories very well. It's just I've been having mood swings that result from me being happy as hell, then some days I feel like crying myself a river to swim through. Then other days I just rips people's heads off. Like I spoke about in the tid-bit before those are my symptoms I guess you could call them. I am also wondering if I have a split personality issue. Which I don't think is the case. If I did that'd be kinda worse. Is there a non-perscription drug and not street medicine I could use? I'll write that drug down you spoke of and I'll go see the doctor come this Friday for a follow up appointment. I've noticed my behavior pattern has been changing on the forum too, due to my post. So I am a bit worried for my own mental health. I also don't sleep very well either, I mostly stay up late at night and stare at my Settings tab and click on it every 10-15 minutes to see if there is something worth reading as well. My sleep pattern has been very off. I mostly do stay up either doing pixel art on Minecraft or just staring out my window watching the cars go by. I don't have much for hobbies except my PC which I am trying to wean myself off of and do something physically. My friend introduced me to Papercraft. I guess it's like a real life version of Minecraft, only with paper templates, so I think I'll try that out to keep my spirits high. I also apologize it's just I didn't think I'd be spilling my guts suddenly like this to pretty much everyone on the forum. Suprised Yyg hasn't said anything. He usually either says something witty or something comforting, never in between...

As for myself right now...I feel slightly sad, I mean I guess it's irrelevant but I'd really like to do my Fluttershy Pixel Art on Minecraft and I can't finish her correctly. I've been so upset with myself since last night about it. I kinda did throw my controller at the bed (thank goodness) and walked out of the room and made some Chai Tea to calm my nerves. So I guess it' some where between sad and mad. Smad, I'll call it that I guess. Ha ha. Also how do I find out what triggers these weird swings? I don't want to be like "Oh hey you, say something to make me mad/sad." Etc. So I want to zero in on these things so I can avoid them in the future. I might sleep soon as well.
Ok note: I mixed up my wording again. It wasn't dementia. It was light hysteria that I was told I had. I mixed up the words since they sound nearly the same (to me anyway) But yeah, depression/light hysteria.

[Satori]

I must stress to you I'm not a doctor, I am a nurse.
Diagnostics really isn't my area but working in triage, I have to apply my experience and knowledge to make an assessment.
What I have suggested is not intended to be taken as fact, I'm just saying what I would be suggesting to the doctor if you were a patient of mine.

Escitalopram is a good medication but your doctor may find it a bit odd that you request it. It may have another name depending on where you live.
From what you describe it sounds like depression or bi-polar disorder.
Bi-polar would explain the emotional extremes you are experiencing but it too may be depression,

All I can do is offer what you could call educated speculation.

I hope you get it sorted out.

And here's a little gem from my nurse training, Back in the day women with hysteria would visit the doctor for a "massage"
This was actually a doctor using a vibrator on a lady.

To think some people think medicine is boring.

[Yygdrasil]

Back in the day women with hysteria would visit the doctor for a "massage"
This was actually a doctor using a vibrator on a lady.

To think some people think medicine is boring.

So basically. In Satori's expert opinion... you should just ask your doctor to get you off so that you can feel better.

[Satori]

Well a good hard shafting would make you feel miles better I'm sure.

[Yellow Mage]

Um, creepiness aside, does Melody even swing that way?

[Melody]

Um, creepiness aside, does Melody even swing that way?

Nope I don't. Sorry. Well some advice is better than none at all to be honest. It gives me something to work with, its 6:20 AM now. I'm getting ready to go to work I leave out my house at 7:30 then take a half hour drive to my job. Gonna check in with my boss and see if he'll let me work today. I get out of work at 1:30 today, but if I get sent home early expect to see me back on around 10:30-11:00.

I did have a girlfriend but then we broke up on her accounts of cheating on me with her ex-husband. Long story short, I don't date anymore. I'm not a swinger either, not into that group sex stuff. Blech. Also I've been shafted before, wasn't to my liking since the guy was like a zoo animal, but none the less I've had the "been there done that" feeling. But enough of my sex life...or whatever is left of it.

I am going to call in first before I burn gas driving out there.

[Yygdrasil]

I'm so confused. I can't tell if Melody is a guy or a girl... a Lesbian or just Bi Curious. No... no none of this makes sense at all.

[Feba]

Here's a hint: you're on the internet.

[Melody]

I'm so confused. I can't tell if Melody is a guy or a girl... a Lesbian or just Bi Curious. No... no none of this makes sense at all.

Because you're too much of an idiot to sit down and talk with me. You prefer to troll me until I snap at you. So instead of being a dick all the time, try being nice. Oh wait I forgot...this is you we're talking about.

Just got home from work. Boss said I am doing better. I was a bit exhausted, but that was expected I guess. I brought my iPod with me to work and I bought the Mincraft App. Minecraft: Pocket Edition and did some small work there. Kept me occupied during break and I did a bit of tiny pixel art. Wish I could show it here on the forums.