How to deal with someone like this?

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Well, things are going pretty well for my LS. Got lots of kids enthusiatic about sky. Even did our first Kirin for them last night. We had to kite it, but got it done in an hour, which is pretty good for a first Kirin. Long ago I had done Kirins with LSes that actually took longer (back before RNG nerf, when WAR was lolWAR and all).

Anyway, we got this guy. Fellow RNG and COR at that. I invited him in because we needed more RNGs, COR is a bonus and I had always enjoyed talking to him.

I've come to find his approach to RNG rather quirky. First off, he abhors Holy Bolts. I don't know why because Holy Bolts are the best DoT you can get in high level EXP unless we're talking colibri, then other weapons win out. He doesn't like it because the bolts are cheap, I think.

I don't see the problem, cheap + great DoT is A-OK in my RNG's book and wallet. Truth is, though, I spend more on Kabura and Marid arrows than he does on ammo period. Not that Demon arrows are bad, but still, dunno why he'd epeen over the holys. He doesn't seem to have his facts together, just gil.

That aside, he's clearly on something while he plays. I'm cool with people doin their own thing in RL, but I think he takes it a step too far.

But then he spams me and the other leaders with tells. He has a very competitive personality. He's suggested putting a cap on how many points people can get a week, he tries to get us to call it a night on farming or gods when he has to go. He also tries to butt into anything that could be good for him.

Just as an example, we had a group up in IC last week helping a BLU learn Radiant Breath. Well, I was on the Opo-crown quest and needed a skull, so I went up to assist. Another LS mate, a RDM and BRD, went up to help as well and also needed a skull. Well, my buddy forces his way in. He's levelling BRD, but is not of the level to use crown and never subs /WHM to COR. He was actually lost in the Cauldron, yet lotted the skull when he hadn't helped with anything yet. RDM actually needed it more, the BRD was closer to being able to use crown.

We killed Gae Bolg NM while waiting. He lotted that, too. Doesn't even level DRG. Thankfully the guy with a DRG levelled got it, but still.

Last night after Kirin, he logged because a PLD won bid on Wyrmal Abjuration (Legs). What did he expect? PLD was points leader and he was #3. I was just impressed this group of people new to sky did so well.

I dunno what to do with this guy, I think he's a drama bomb waiting to happen.

[Aeolus]

I think you need to tell him straight up to change his attitude or you would have to drop him because, like you say, he sounds like a drama bomb just waiting to go off. If he contines to not care about others in the ls and only does things that mainly benefit him you should chuck him Id say. Endgame shells work better Ive found when people are more like a family (cant believe i said that) and work together too obtain items for others, it eventually comes back to you. I know its hard to become selfless in an online game but it really does work and pays off for all in the end. If he cant do that then maybe he shouldnt be in the shell, unless you want loldrama.

I would have just had to say something when he lotted on that skull, mainly along the lines of "wtf are you doing, you arnt even at camp..pass", especially seens as points had nothing to do with that situation. It was like a social gathering to help.

[Arctic Wolf]

I'd say talk to him. If he doesn't accept the LS rules, what's his point in it at all? You could just talk to him, tell him in a normal way that he's welcome to stay in the LS as long as he accepts all the rules that come with it, otherwise you'd have to ask him to leave. You could also tell him that he can return after a while, if he decided to accept the LS rules the way they are.
That's what I'd do anyway.

[IfritnoItazura]

My instinct is to sit him down and explain why some of the rules are the way they are, then point to some specific behaviors of his which violate/bend rules or annoy other people. He really needs to understand that lotting on something valuable is declaring "It's better for the LS if I have this item rather than someone else," and is not something to be done without consensus from LS members.

Would take a bit of time, but may help him understand his situation in the context of LS.

[Arctic Wolf]

I would have just had to say something when he lotted on that skull, mainly along the lines of "wtf are you doing, you arnt even at camp..pass", especially seens as points had nothing to do with that situation. It was like a social gathering to help.

If you would take my advice, kitten, please refrain from using words and abbreviations like "wtf". If you want to leave a proffessional impression, try to use at least normal spelling!

[raidenn]

Its going to get messy if he keeps doing that. Theres always someone who does that in some Dynamis lots too.

[Feba]

I say kick him out, but then, I've never had someone be a jackass and then change for the better.

If you would take my advice, kitten, please refrain from using words and abbreviations like "wtf". If you want to leave a proffessional impression, try to use at least normal spelling!

Also, this is an FFXI forum. Az long as u dont type lik a idiot, ur fine kk?


Remember. FFXI forum. Professional Impression. Big difference.

[Arctic Wolf]

I say kick him out, but then, I've never had someone be a jackass and then change for the better.

He's hired, he should deserve atleast a warning first, in an appropriate way.

[Murphie]

I don't think I've ever seen BBQ use much netspeak anyway, so I doubt that's anything that we have to worry about. Not that most of us were "worried" anyway.

Anyway - this should definitely be addressed. I tend to take a hard line with things like this, however, and would lean more towards Feba's suggestion. Perhaps a conversation with him, expressing the need to follow the rules, make it clear that if there is another problem that he's out, period.

So many people take the easy way out and refuse to deal with troublemakers like this. So months down the line, they are still in the LS, still acting the same, and yet benefiting from being in a capable LS. They'll never learn if you keep rewarding them for bad behavior.

edit: Being in an LS is not the same as being hired. This is not a job.

[Arctic Wolf]

I say kick him out, but then, I've never had someone be a jackass and then change for the better.



Also, this is an FFXI forum. Az long as u dont type lik a idiot, ur fine kk?


Remember. FFXI forum. Professional Impression. Big difference.

I was referring to in-game, during linkshell events, thanks for your contribution though, very useful.




Anyway - this should definitely be addressed. I tend to take a hard line with things like this, however, and would lean more towards Feba's suggestion. Perhaps a conversation with him, expressing the need to follow the rules, make it clear that if there is another problem that he's out, period.

In fact, Feba said to just bluntly kick them out!

[Feba]

In fact, Feba said to just bluntly kick them out!Yes, Ael is literate. He knows.

[Murphie]

In fact, Feba said to just bluntly kick them out!I'm well aware of what Feba wrote. That's why I said "lean towards" and not "do exactly as" what he said.

[Arctic Wolf]

Ah, I see. I hope I can be forgiven for missunderstanding.

[Murphie]

I doubt it, considering the insults you keep sending to me via PMs. Rest assured those are being forwarded on to those in charge.

[Arctic Wolf]

I doubt it, considering the insults you keep sending to me via PMs. Rest assured those are being forwarded on to those in charge.

Right, I don't know why you post this here, in this thread, that's about something else. Do you need attention? I have not insulted, I asked something normally. Appearantly you're not able for a normal conversation. Maybe that's because of me, I don't know. Either way, I do not want to have a conversation here, in a public thread, as i said before. I'm done with you, you've proven yourself already.

[LyonheartLakshmi]

"The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." -- G'Kar, Babylon 5

It sounds like this guy has enough self-interest (which is what HNM/sky/Dynamis LS etc tends to be based around). He's just lacking the "enlightened" part.

You can attempt to enlighten him... or not. Kicking him in his current state would be addition by subtraction.

[Murphie]

I'd like to hope that the guy could see the error of his ways, but honestly he doesn't sound like the type. But maybe I'm pre-judging.

[DakAttack]

This can only be settled through combat.

[Mhurron]

I propose pistols at 20 paces.

[Murphie]

This can only be settled through combat.http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d0/Combatatarigamepack.jpg?

[Feba]

I don't know how fair that would be. Bbq has a lot more experience with Quick Draw.

[Arctic Wolf]

This can only be settled through combat.

Yes, let's have a war over any form of disagreement! Seriously though, what's missing here is the "/duel" command! (Like on WoW)

[Murphie]

Whoosh.

Also, the last thing this game needs is the e-peen contest that is the /duel command.

[Aeolus]

Im sorry, I won't use "wtf" anymore, I shall go with "What the fuck" instead. It makes a huge diference as you stated. Hope your happy Arctic.

[Arctic Wolf]

Im sorry, I won't use "wtf" anymore, I shall go with "What the fuck" instead. It makes a huge diference as you stated. Hope your happy Arctic.

You haven't read what I said. I don't mind though, maybe you don't want to see it?

"I was referring to in-game, during linkshell events, thanks for your contribution though, very useful."

Please, read, then post, it helps a lot of missunderstandings.

[Aeolus]

So was I.

[Feba]

You haven't read what I said. I don't mind though, maybe you don't want to see it?
Man, I don't know what the hell your problem is, but stop trying to piss off people here. If you don't 'get' the culture this forum has developed as a fairly tight knit community, please leave for a forum that's more your speed. We don't appreciate outsiders coming in and trying to insult and criticize us any more than you'd appreciate someone doing the same to your family. We're waiting for you with open arms, but we'll refuse you just as quickly if you constantly try to even out our wrinkles. You might not like them, hell, we might not like them, but they're our character, and we don't appreciate people who don't like it trying to fold us to their shape.

Please, read, then post, it helps a lot of missunderstandings.
Spell check, man. Seriously, nowadays, there's no reason not to have it.

[Kirsteena]

BBQ, I've seen it before. I've been a sack holder/de facto leader and had to deal with it. Personally I would give them one chance - sit down, talk to them. Give them a short amount of time - greed normally gets the better of them. If they are no better in say, a week (assuming you do a reasonable number of events) then remove them from the ls.

A tip, but won't work for Dyna. Make sure a sack holder is in alliance (and is a party leader in same party) when there is stuff falling. They don't pass until everyone else has. The kick function can be your friend.

Sounds like you have a really good group there, I hate people who spoil linkshells like that.

[Arctic Wolf]

My spelling is because i'm not American nor English. And "forum culture?" Hmm.

What a waste of a thread to start personal attacks. Everyone expressed their opinion, as so did I.

So was I.
Well, in that case, it might be a huge surprise to you (I don't know in what environment you grew up) But there are actually people, who dislike the use of a lot of swearing in a chat, especially if it's the lead of an event linkshell, from which you know no one personally. Is it really so hard to believe? That's all what my point was about, whether you want to turn down swearing, as a leader of a linkshell or not, is really, totally your own choice. But i'm telling you, that there are people who might be annoyed by it, and whether you care or not, is your choice. But from what I think, is that a linkshell leader should be as, how to say, "Multi-cultural" as possible. I don't know the exact word for it, I mean, a linkshell leader with a simple attitude that doesn't directly raise a little anger or discomfort with ls members. Don't you think that makes the endgame more enjoyable for everyone? So far for the argueing about it!
It was actually directed at Omgwtfbbqkitten, as a tip. Which also, he/she can use, or think it's worthless.

[Kirsteena]

Eh?

[Aeolus]

If people are annoyed by it then they can feel free to use the chat langauge filter. Just like people who dont like getting checked, filter it. I dont care if you like me swearing or not because I like it.

[Feba]

My spelling is because i'm not American nor English.
Again, spell check.

And "forum culture?" Hmm.
Yes. If you'd bothered to absorb even a little bit of our conversations before you started posting, you'd have seen this.

What a waste of a thread to start personal attacks. Everyone expressed their opinion, as so did I.
My only point is this: You're very obviously agitating at least a few forum members who have been here much longer than you. Stop it. Learn to respect what we have, instead of complaining about every little off color comment and bit of sarcasm, or look elsewhere. We're happy to have you here if you won't cause trouble.

[Arctic Wolf]

Eh?
What I said was directed at the poster above you, sorry.

And Feba.. I have absolutely no words for that reply. And you know why, it's more than obvious.

[Kirsteena]

Oh.

My brain is about up to the 'eh?' stage. Too tired for anything else.

[LyonheartLakshmi]

Whoosh.

Also, the last thing this game needs is the e-peen contest that is the /duel command.
Unless of course, it was done in Yu-gi-oh manner.

/em pulls out a Tetra-master deck.
It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!

[Feba]

My brain is about up to the 'eh?' stage. Wait, you're British?

Eh is for Canadians, Huh is for Americans, you Brits are supposed to say "What the lolly?!", or something to that effect.

Have you no concept of cultural differences?

[Telera]

My spelling is because i'm not American nor English. And "forum culture?" Hmm.

Every forum has a culture. A sense, a soul, a feel that is distinctly its own. And while the members can be found at one another's throat from time to time, generally speaking, they are 'family.' I haven't been here long enough/posted enough to really consider myself part of this one, but I appreciate and respect how things are handled and done. (I also get the vibe I'm sort of alienated myself from some of the 'core' but that's ok.)

I do, however, run two very small, very close knit communities, and like Feba said, no one takes well to someone trying to sound over-smart and change them. As admin on mine, I have a little more swing in how I deal with that kind of thing, but eh.

OT!

I'd say at least talk to him first. See if he's the type can be reasoned with on this issue. From his attitude, I'm thinking that might be iffy, but you know him better and I'm just judging from what I gather from your tale.

It couldn't hurt. And if he shows no willingness to knock himself down a few notches, then you (or the leadership) will just have to do it for him.

[Murphie]

I can't imagine Kirst saying "What the lolly?"

[Omniblast]

I think it's best to let the linkshell leader and officers handle it. If you are an officer, do not handle it yourself.

If that person asks why they've been kicked, (if that was the only resolution) you can provide the examples above as to why they were forcibly removed. You can also say it was a "majority vote" situation where everyone else voted him out.

I think that is more kosher than kicking them out with no explaination.

[Feba]

I can't imagine Kirst saying "What the lolly?"What's this you said about being busy?

[Murphie]

Geez, a guy can't take five minutes to troll his favorite forum. :(

[DieselBoy09]

Drama bomb x2 ftw, irony. These boards are seemingly starting to grow the stuff much like a dank bathroom floor.

Talk to the fellow about what is going on, if he reacts harshly or doesn't catch on, drop him quickly. Common courtesy should be instilled in them already, its a shame that it appears it isn't.

[Omniblast]

Geez, a guy can't take five minutes to troll his favorite forum. :(

What does that mean?

[Feba]

He said (on AIM) that he had something to go do, so naturally when he made a post, I had to make an "lolmurphieliveshere" joke.

[Murphie]

I did have something to go do, but then I had five minutes before I headed out the door to post. It was good times.

Well, mediocre times.

[Kirsteena]

I did have something to go do, but then I had five minutes before I headed out the door to post. It was good times.
Well, mediocre times.

He does that to me too Feba.

And "what the lolly?" Do what? Murph is right, never would I say that! After the past two nights, "eh?" is about my limit - goddamn cultural overload...

if you count going to see Meatloaf as cultural

[Feba]

In America, Meatloaf is a food! Nothing more!

[Kirsteena]

In America, Meatloaf is a food! Nothing more!

Silly Americans.

[Nuriko]

In America, Meatloaf is a food! Nothing more!

Have you seen the "Rocky Horror Picture Show"? I didn't know you were into cannibalism...

[Sevv]

Man, I don't know what the hell your problem is, but stop trying to piss off people here.


Lol only reason feba said this is pissing people off is his job!!!


(in late but rl > internet)

[Deeke]

Well until BBQ gives us an update on Cranger (I took the liberty of making up a name for the unnamed RNG, what of it?), this thread seems ripe for OT chitchat. Which is great because I just want to offer a hearty lol (appropriately enough) at 'what the lolly'. ^_^

Never in my two decades plus spent on this island have I heard ANYbody say that. Not in RL, not on TV, radio, never read it in a book nor heard tales of shoked posh people exclaiming such.

'What the blazes??' Now THAT's more like it. Typical upperclass outburst of bepuzzlement. As is 'Now just run that past me again, dear boy..?' and such.

At the other end of the UK spectrum, you'd have something like 'You wot?'. But really, to pronounce this properly you need to lower the pitch of your voice two octaves. And lower the level of your IQ two evoloutionary periods as well. Now try it again:

'You wot?'

I'm wondering how our Canadian friends actually pronounce 'eh?'.

Here in our United Kingdom (hahaha), it's as the 'ay?' in Yay? but for some reason, I imagine you western Atlanticans pronouncing it more as the 'e?' in yes? Have I got that utterly wrong? (I have, haven't I? :P Bah.)

But yeah. 'Eh?' is pretty commonplace. Coincidentally enough, I only just used it a few minutes ago. My manager asked me did I fancy coming back in and doing some extra work over this upcoming long weekend. Suitably baffled at the logic behind this question, all I could muster was a (oO)-ey 'Eh..?'.

True story.


I guess, rather than the 'huh?' Feba mentions, I could imagine Americans saying something along the lines of 'Woooooah there pard'ner! What in the hey now?'.

Yep. That works^^

[Sevv]

what the lolly= so using that for my pull macro in dynamis tonight

What The Lolly <t>!

[Feba]

Lol only reason feba said this is pissing people off is his job!!!again, stop trying to start drama.

I could imagine Americans saying something along the lines of 'Woooooah there pard'ner! What in the hey now?'.
Nah, nowadays it would be more like "Wassaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuup!?", except with more of an upwards intonation than it normally has.

[Sevv]

again, stop trying to start drama.



And again learn to take a joke feba, if I was going to start a fight it would constist with a ton of personal attacks on you seriously, learn to take a joke.

[Lambeaus]

Meatloaf is still around?:eek:

[Mhurron]

Nah, nowadays it would be more like "Wassaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuup!?"
Not for a few years they haven't. Unless maybe you hang around with idiots.

[Aeolus]

Meatloaf will always be around!

[Raydeus]

I'm still intrigued by this spell check thing people keeps talking about. :shocked:



PS > And about the OP, just kick the guy out and save yourself from all the headaches. :thumbsup:

[Ameroth]

@ spell checking issue: Is my version of Firefox the only one that highlights misspelled words as I type them so I know to correct them before I post? Or am I Mozilla's 100,000,000th downloaderererer ( <- that word is highlighted) person.

But there are actually people, who dislike the use of a lot of swearing in a chat, especially if it's the lead of an event linkshell, from which you know no one personally.

A. Welcome to the internet. Don't like it or the people on it? Go away.
B. FFXI has a chat filter.
C. I like to swear all the fucking time. Feels good.


OT:
Basically I agree with what just about everyone has said about trying to explain to the guy the importance of following the rules established by the LS. If he agrees, groovy. If he's unwilling to comply then I'd say just let him go. There's plenty of other end game linkshells out there.

Besides, it seems like it'd be more fun to go out with your LS and help other people accomplish things and get what's yours at an appropriate time then it would be to care only about benefiting yourself. At least that's how I look at it.

[Deeke]

I just realised what a silly, unhelpful abbreviation 'OT' is....

*checks his previous post*

Damn. Yep - I used it. ><

[Jethreal]

I'm wondering how our Canadian friends actually pronounce 'eh?'.

Here in our United Kingdom (hahaha), it's as the 'ay?' in Yay? but for some reason, I imagine you western Atlanticans pronouncing it more as the 'e?' in yes? Have I got that utterly wrong? (I have, haven't I? :P Bah.)



Hi-o Deeke,

It's actually aye as well, think "A" with the hard sound like play.

[DakAttack]

I watched an episode of Cops: London and it was terrible. "Oi! Put yo' hands up, yea!?" They had a few scenes of riot action, and there was a riot officer day dreaming in the back of the squad who ate a flaming cocktail. He ran in a circle and fell to the ground before the other officers decided to intervene.

[Murphie]

@ spell checking issue: Is my version of Firefox the only one that highlights misspelled words as I type them so I know to correct them before I post? Or am I Mozilla's 100,000,000th downloaderererer ( <- that word is highlighted) person.No, mine does it too. :D It's nifty. Not that I need much help with it, but every now and then it's useful.

[Kirsteena]

I watched an episode of Cops: London and it was terrible. "Oi! Put yo' hands up, yea!?" They had a few scenes of riot action, and there was a riot officer day dreaming in the back of the squad who ate a flaming cocktail. He ran in a circle and fell to the ground before the other officers decided to intervene.

Cops: London? wtf is that? Oi is about right, but the rest...

Must be one of those shows we export!

And yes Meatloaf is still around. Though the best thing I am going to see is still to come on Wednesday *dances*

[Deeke]

Jeth:

Thanks^^ I was confused at first because you used 'aye' which I would pronounce like 'I' to represent the 'eh' pronunciation of the word which you used the hard A sound of play to examplificate.

Now I understand :)

We both pronounce 'eh?' the same way.

[Feba]

Must be one of those shows we export!I'm 98% sure cops is an American show, they just do foreign episodes every now and then.

[nickofearth]

You don't wanna just boot him, that could cause more problems then solutions. Get the leaders together and have a talk with him(or atleast one leader talk to him.) Had a similar thing happen to my LS a while ago(trying to give orders, not lotting things they didn't deserve or need) and it eventually ended up with them leaving.