What you think?

[Sodo_Leviathan]

What does everyone think about this... I bought FFXI with my own money paid the bills and I was using my moms credit card. I get in trouble and she decides she'll take it away from me ...... I lost 3 years worth of stuff and all my info is gone ...... and she says i can't play it anymore .... :vent: What would you have done

[Davitron3000]

What does everyone think about this... I bought FFXI with my own money paid the bills and I was using my moms credit card. I get in trouble and she decides she'll take it away from me ...... I lost 3 years worth of stuff and all my info is gone ...... and she says i can't play it anymore .... :vent: What would you have done

Tried not to get in trouble? :)

That is crappy, and I don't know your age, but if you want to have control over you playing the game, seems you need to be paying for it.

[Jei]

It's not your card. You can't complain. Not until you move out to live on your own and paying the game with your own card.

[Omgwtfbbqkitten]

Mom's in the right here, its her card, so its her rules. If you want to stake a claim to your character (which you never really owned in the first place, nor did she), you should at least be paying for your subscription and internet access.

But that said, you're still under her room and likely eating meals she's provided. I don't think you have much room to argue. You didn't "lose" anything but time, she lost well over $500 letting you play FFXI (if we're not counting mules here and hardware upgrades/addtions).

If I had kids, I wouldn't let them touch a game like this until they had their own apartment and credit card. No offense (what the hell, take offense if you want), but I'm honestly amazed parents would even consider letting their kids play a game like this. Regardless of the rating, MMORPGs aren't made with kids in mind.

[Mhurron]

I wish more parents would stop their kids from playing MMO's.

[Malevolent]

Admit you're wrong and move on...get your own CC and start over. You have 3 years experience it shouldn't be hard for you...

[Malevolent]

I wish more parents would stop their kids from playing MMO's.

thats like wishing for world peace not gonna happen...some parents aren't gonna lear untill they wake up one day with a .22 in their face and the last thing they'll say is "Why did i let him play that video game..." Parents don't take enough responsibility into what their kids are playing. But Lawyers will never blame it on the parents...just the people who made the game.

[Jei]

Nothing's wrong with wishing.

Every man have a dream.

Oh you can add woman to that sentence if you like.

[Malevolent]

Nothing's wrong with wishing.

Every man have a dream.

Oh you can add woman to that sentence if you like.

lol its a big wish...but then again when i was 8 i wished that Mcdonalds would give free refills and they did!!!

[Tirjasdyn]

thats like wishing for world peace not gonna happen...some parents aren't gonna lear untill they wake up one day with a .22 in their face and the last thing they'll say is "Why did i let him play that video game..." Parents don't take enough responsibility into what their kids are playing. But Lawyers will never blame it on the parents...just the people who made the game.

Playing video games does not lead to kid's killing parents....mental instability yes...video games no.

I wish people would stop with the gaming=kids kiling misinformation.

[eticket109]

Have you really lost everything? Did she delete the characters? If so, warranted or not, that does suck. Granted she is in the right to do so since she was paying for it, but it still sucks. I'd be interested to know what sort of trouble you can get into to warrant such actions anyway.

As far as parents / gaming, I think it'd be nice if parents paid more attention to what their kids were buying and playing overall and not just in regards to MMOs.

[Malevolent]

Playing video games does not lead to kid's killing parents....mental instability yes...video games no.

I wish people would stop with the gaming=kids kiling misinformation.

then where does the mental instability come from...its by influence, the game has the influence. Thats where parental control comes in also. think about the factors for a minute. You're influenced everyday to do something by something.

[eticket109]

some kids are just messed up Mal... all the parenting in the world can't always fix it. I agree though that parenting or at least the family situation as a whole is usually the most responsible though.

[Kholdstare]

then where does the mental instability come from...its by influence, the game has the influence. Thats where parental control comes in also. think about the factors for a minute. You're influenced everyday to do something by something.

Most people have the mental capacity to know the difference between fantasy and reality. Even then, influence of everything is based on the "strength" (I don't like to use the term in this context) of the person's mind. For instance, those "impressionable youth" we hear so much about, yes, shouldn't be playing Decapitat-a-thon 2007. Those unstable folks who can't see the difference between shooting a virtual hooker and shooting a real one, yes, shouldn't be playing GTAs.

However, to say that a game company is responsible for the actions of every person that plays their games is a bit of a stretch. There are plenty of other more local authorities to ensure that a person isn't playing something they shouldn't. Parents, game store employees, where are these people when their intervention is necessary.

Blaming the game companies for the actions of the people that use their product is like blaming the US Mint (or equivalent) when people are reckless with their money.

[Armando]

You can't attribute killing to video games; it just doesn't work that way. At best you COULD argue that they could set off a person that was already mentally unstable, but that's a moot point because just about anything else could've set them off as well.

Hundreds of thousands of people have been exposed to violent video games, movies, TV shows, and music for years, and none of them commit homicide. I was in the 3rd grade when I first played Resident Evil, and I can't even remember what grade I was in when I first played Mortal Kombat. Likewise, I'm sure almost everyone in these forums has seen porn at least once, for whatever the reason, but I'll bet 99% of them (if any) don't go around raping women. If your kid ends up holding a gun to your face over a video game, then he either had serious mental issues, or he didn't receive proper parenting. The odds of someone spontaneously killing a person just because they saw a violent act are practically inexistent.

And yeah, I agree on the bit about kids not playing MMOs as well.

[dspeed]

Parenting should start when the kid is born. Not when the parent can't stand it anymore. Due to the fact that in the U.S., kids are taught that if your parent/someone lift a finger on you, you can call the police to arrest them. Many are scared/afraid to get in trouble, because of this disciplining a kid at a young age will be way better. If kids are discipline well they won't say something like "try hitting me and i'll call the cops on you".

When i was growing up my parent will gimme a can of whoop-ass if I didn't behave. Try doing that right now and the only ass you'll get is landing our ass in jail.

[Tirjasdyn]

some kids are just messed up Mal... all the parenting in the world can't always fix it. I agree though that parenting or at least the family situation as a whole is usually the most responsible though.
Thank you eticket.

Mal:
Mental Instability comes from a chemical imbalance...

Violent influences have long been around before video games, gaming, tv and even guns.

Good parenting (I say this as a parent) comes from monitoring kids, talking to them and watching for signs of odd behavior.

Generally being interested in what your kid is doing helps.

I grew up in a house filled with video games, guns and mental instability. Funny thing is that my parents are still married and retired, my siblings are married with children (or about to be), we are all still alive, have good jobs, love outdoor sports and play video games, Dungeons and dragons and have lots of friends.

It's a bad stereotype perpetuated by grieving parents who are looking for any reason to blame their tragedy on except themselves.

Sad really.

[Darkages]

and also if you start over i can pl u with my rdm i got a hl rdm galkan on ur sever!

[Blaez]

... I bought FFXI with my own money paid the bills and I was using my moms credit card...

if your stating that you paid the credit bills for your mothers credit card on the game. I believe she is in the wrong. I just wouldnt tell her how to cancel it ^^ but if u are not paying for it, she was in the right. I think maybe freezing it or even just making you keep paying for it would have been better.

[Tirjasdyn]

if your stating that you paid the credit bills for your mothers credit card on the game. I believe she is in the wrong. I just wouldnt tell her how to cancel it ^^ but if u are not paying for it, she was in the right. I think maybe freezing it or even just making you keep paying for it would have been better.

Even still, if you did get in trouble...suck it up princess. Your still in her house and gaming privilages are earned not a right.

[LyonheartLakshmi]

if your stating that you paid the credit bills for your mothers credit card on the game. I believe she is in the wrong.
If the OP isn't 18 yet, it's simply a form of punishment. Just because he's been paying for it doesn't mean his mom shouldn't be able to ground him from it.

If the OP, however, is 18... well, perhaps he needs to move out on his own, and get his own Credit Card to pay for FFXI.

[Kholdstare]

If the OP isn't 18 yet, it's simply a form of punishment. Just because he's been paying for it doesn't mean his mom shouldn't be able to ground him from it.

If the OP, however, is 18... well, perhaps he needs to move out on his own, and get his own Credit Card to pay for FFXI.

I somewhat disagree with the "move out" suggestion. If he was working full time and not going to school, I could see it. But sometimes, people just can't make that kind of money.

And before you say "he shouldn't be playing FFXI," keep in mind that a month of FFXI is a lot less than a month's worth of groceries, phone, water, electricity, and heating. I'm not saying to just leech off your parents for years, but to leave the house as soon as you possibly can isn't exactly wise either.

[Tirjasdyn]

No kidding...of course he can't live in a larger home of his own with a six figure job right away.

I moved out when I was 18, lived in a one room apartment and still bought one of those new fangled play stations ...all on $4.15/hr

When you live in another person's house you play by their rules...end of story. Since groceries are more important than ffxi...I really can't buy the arguement.

[LyonheartLakshmi]

I somewhat disagree with the "move out" suggestion. If he was working full time and not going to school, I could see it. But sometimes, people just can't make that kind of money.

And before you say "he shouldn't be playing FFXI," keep in mind that a month of FFXI is a lot less than a month's worth of groceries, phone, water, electricity, and heating. I'm not saying to just leech off your parents for years, but to leave the house as soon as you possibly can isn't exactly wise either.
Well, I suggested moving out because the OP apparently disagrees with his mother's form of discipline. If you are 18 or older and still living with your parents, you have to be willing to abide by their rules, even if you think they might be too strict. If you can't stand the living arrangements, then moving out is the only option.

I'm not advocating moving out as soon as legally allowed. I personally lived with my parents until I was 24. It was a sweet deal. I didn't have to pay rent, I got a home cooked dinner every night, and didn't even have to do any laundry.

If the OP is old enough live on his own, but is choosing not to because of the benefits of living with his parents, he needs to consider the benefits he's reaping before he starts to complain about his FFXI access.

[Alcyonne]

Any time someone commits an act of violence that can get blamed on a video game, it's going to be because of some mental or emotional stress that has absolutely nothing to do with the video game. Most people are able to tell the difference between what is real and what's not.


What does everyone think about this... I bought FFXI with my own money paid the bills and I was using my moms credit card. I get in trouble and she decides she'll take it away from me ...... I lost 3 years worth of stuff and all my info is gone ...... and she says i can't play it anymore .... :vent: What would you have done


I'm just assuming I've read this correctly. I may not have.. but if you bought the game with your own money and have been paying her back every month for what's taken off her card, and if she suddenly and without any warning, just jumped the gun and took FFXI away from you for doing something she didn't like, then I can understand where you're coming from.

But, as I suspect, if she has warned you before that this would happen and you still went against her wishes, then I have to fully agree with everyone else here. In the end though, whether it seems fair or unfair to you, it is still her card. The best thing you can do in this case, is to either prove yourself to her so that she'll see no reason not to give the game back, or wait until you're old enough to have your own card. Basically, what it all comes down to is that while you're under her roof, you have to live by her rules.

[Malacite]

You can't attribute killing to video games; it just doesn't work that way. At best you COULD argue that they could set off a person that was already mentally unstable, but that's a moot point because just about anything else could've set them off as well.

Hundreds of thousands of people have been exposed to violent video games, movies, TV shows, and music for years, and none of them commit homicide. I was in the 3rd grade when I first played Resident Evil, and I can't even remember what grade I was in when I first played Mortal Kombat. Likewise, I'm sure almost everyone in these forums has seen porn at least once, for whatever the reason, but I'll bet 99% of them (if any) don't go around raping women. If your kid ends up holding a gun to your face over a video game, then he either had serious mental issues, or he didn't receive proper parenting. The odds of someone spontaneously killing a person just because they saw a violent act are practically inexistent.

And yeah, I agree on the bit about kids not playing MMOs as well.


Preach it baby! I totally agree with every point.

However, could the OP describe the "trouble"? He says that was paying for the bills >.> I actually do the same thing as he did. The game is paid on my Dad's credit card (I've yet to obtain my own but will likely do so in the near future) and each month I just add it to my tab of w/e I owe my parents for that week/month. I never miss a payment, so it all works out.

[Darkages]

well parents can be werid and not allow 17 maybe even 18 year old parents will not let them get any thing from drivers licence to credit cards the parents can restrict what ever they want till he is 18 so dosnt matter

[Sodo_Leviathan]

Well I Snuck out of my house and did some stuff with my Girl ...... My mom was nosy and read some of my stuff while i was asleep. She said she has the right to

[Tirjasdyn]

Well I Snuck out of my house and did some stuff with my Girl ...... My mom was nosy and read some of my stuff while i was asleep. She said she has the right to

yeah, I'd take away the game too.

And she does you're only 15.

[Vyuru]

Well I Snuck out of my house and did some stuff with my Girl ......

Well, since "stuff" can range anywhere from drugs, booze, and sex, yeah, if I was your parent I'd be pretty mad too.

My mom was nosy and read some of my stuff while i was asleep. She said she has the right to


And not that I'm condoning being sneaky or anything, but this is why you never put down in writing, or record, what you don't want people to know about.

[Theyaden]

Well I Snuck out of my house and did some stuff with my Girl ...... My mom was nosy and read some of my stuff while i was asleep. She said she has the right to

Thats why I never kept a journal when growing up they just beg someone else to flip through them. Additionally later in life when your an adult journals are a very bad idea if your adding anything you don't want someone else to get ahold of. Sorry you lost your character, but unless your able to get your own credit card (for gods sake don't run up the bills on it when you do) I would not advise creating a new character untill the payments are under your control since it could result in another loss of character data. Once you do ask if the old character is retrievable. Check with a couple representatives if the 1st says no, but if it stays consistent the old character is gone:worry: .

Reason I mention this is usually the reps are decient, but occasionally you get one that just wants you off the phone and will just say no without checking. (If I were to hazard a guess the character is probably gone, but you never know.)

[Darkages]

well he said its been cancled a month from no payment if im correct it takes 3 months with canclation in game and 6 month from no payments i think

[forevergamer]

well,first of all,it's not your card.so your mom has the upper hand there.plus to malevolent,i love what your thinking bout mcdonalds.but that like wishing for world peace too!!:biggrin:

Keep playing!!I do!!

[Darkages]

yea what he did to get grounded is bad but not as bad as drugs in stuff it takes 2 ppl and no clothes to obtain this.

and since im not telling you what exactly its not breaking any rules so me happy
(hopefully)

[Necropolis]

Well regardless of what he did, though you made it quite clear darkages, his parents are in the right.

Parents decide for thier children what they will and will not allow, and what actions will be taken if thier rules are broken. If the parents feel a need to sift through personal belongings they can, technically everything in thier house is thier property, including things a minor bought with thier money.

My parents never really snooped in my stuff, but if they had reason to they would in a heartbeat, so I would not only get in trouble for the intial reason, but also anything they dug up from searching my room.

But in the end, the parents decision is the end all argument. You're best bet would be apologenic and relieze what you did was wrong and learn from it, rather than to hold a grudge against your mother for something you did. You knew it was wrong, otherwise you wouldn't sneak out. So you willingly broke your mother's rules, and got caught doing so. Take the punishment and perhaps she'll see fit to trust you again.

Trust is the only real thing you lost, and is a lot harder to regain than a FFXI character.

[Darkages]

trust i dont like trust y not just rule in pain like i do! mr sodo knowes what me talking about

[Tirrock]

Did she actually delete the character? If not, you can just reactivate or wait for one of those "return to vana'diel" things they do if it takes a while.

My parents were kinda nosey too when I was that age. They'd go through my garbage even, to make sure I wasn't doing drugs or drinking. (Ironically, my dad did both at the time.) If you have your own computer, set up some passwords to log on. If it's a shared computer, then keep your journal in a zipped file with password protection and don't use something obvious like your girlfriend's name as a password.

Punishments happen. Better hope that you get on her good side again and she lets you continue playing it, I guess. And probably best to avoid going against her.