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Dopples
11-25-2006, 09:31 PM
Well, here's part 1 of my story, it is devoid of any name whatsoever, so I'm just calling it The Unnamed Story. There'll be multiple parts and I'm gonna archive it at www.fanfiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net) once it allows me to post my stories. Oh, and just a note, this takes place long after the events of FF11. So here ya go.

Part 1:On the road

A large boom was heard as the scrambling of many people in armor filled the night air. On the ground, there was an all out war. Metal againest metal resounded throughout the fog filled sky. These sounds were coupled by the screams of men and women. In the air, thousands of airships were seen bombarding the castle wall. "COME MEN! SAN' DORIA'S WALLS SHALL FALL SOON!" These words were shouted as another large boom rang out, and the sound of falling metal and wood resounded, followed by much clanging and screams of pain. Behind this platoon stood a Mithra in blood soaked armor, her eyes looking gleeful at the sight of all
the bloodshed around her.


Mina's eyes opened quickly, and had a look of fear on them. She was sweating all over, and was breathing hard. She sat up slowly, clutching her forehead as if in pain. "Oh....it was just a dream....or a memory...." She said with a sigh. She looked at her comrads who were sleeping on makeshift cushions, and then drifted her
eyes to the hume next to her. She smiled, and whispered "Alex...thanks again...for everything", before laying down again, hugging the hume.


"Wakey wakey Mina! It's time to get up and have some breakfast!"


A loud voice pierced the mithra's sensitive ears as she opened her eyes. A tarutaru stood before her with a large smile on her face and a plate of eggs and sasuage in her hands. "Mina, you shouldn't sleep in like that, you don't know when they'll catch up to us." she said, but not so much in a berating way, but in more of a
caring way. Like a parent. "Thanks for the concern, Star." Mina looked around a little bit before taking the plate of food.


"Where's Alex and Guy?"

"They said they were gonna go get some water for our reserves since we're gonna be crossing the desert soon. They should be back shortly, though Guy maybe a little later because he's gonna do some scouting."

Mina took a bite of her eggs. She couldn't help but smile at Star. In truth, the tarutaru was a GREAT cook, but she never thought of herself as such. Mina had tried to get the tarutaru to become a cook, but Star would only refuse. "You should seriously think about becoming a professional cook instead of a Summoner. There is
a lot more money in cooking, that's for sure. Besides..." Star shook her head, cause her golden ponytail to swerve side to side. "I know I know, you're afraid of me becoming a military slave. I told you though, I'm going to Selbina when I become a Summoner so I can help the town out."


Mina took another bite of the sasuage as a sad silence took over their conversation.


"Guy, are you SURE this leads to the Gran Raithwall River?" Alex's emerald eyes looked around as he saw many trees and mountains...but not a trace of water.


"Relax man, even if we don't get to the river, think of the adventure of just coming all this way and exploring uncharted wilderness! It's enough to make you..."



Alex sighed, and said under his breath... "Here we go again...."



A moment of silence between the two commenced...but then the large Galka shouted out suddenly "IT'LL MAKE US INVINCIBLE! TOUGHER THEN STEEL, QUICKER THAN A THIEF! HAHAHAHA!"

Alex wanted to rip Guy's balls off right then and there. But the thought of losing their muscle of the group made him just laugh nervously. However, his forced chuckle was stopped by a sound. They both stood still for a moment...and they heard a loud moan. It was unidentifiable, since it could have been a monster or
someone in need of help. Alex sheathed his sword and walked slowly towards the sound while Guy took out his axe, both of them prepared to engage the target.

Lilani
11-26-2006, 03:35 AM
I like it so far :) Not too many people do things long *after* the FFXI story. Keep at it ^^

Kittyneko
11-26-2006, 04:55 AM
Whoa looks nice, I might actually read it all :p

Ow by the way, I think you umm, could use different words for:

Alex wanted to rip Guy's balls off right then and there.
x.x it kind of ruins the "level" of the story, not that its disturbing or anything, just my opinion

Anothing thing, please give links when its up on fanfiction, so many storys there i dont want to read before finding yours :p

Dopples
11-26-2006, 10:37 AM
Whoa looks nice, I might actually read it all :p

Ow by the way, I think you umm, could use different words for:


x.x it kind of ruins the "level" of the story, not that its disturbing or anything, just my opinion

Anothing thing, please give links when its up on fanfiction, so many storys there i dont want to read before finding yours :p

Thanks for the comments guys :) I'm gonna post up the direct link on Fanfiction when it's up, don't worry.


Also, I was kinda iffy about this line too. But it felt more shallow when I put "Here we go again..." only. I'm gonna try and fix that in the next part.

Dopples
11-28-2006, 02:47 PM
I got the story up on FanFiction. Here's the link:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3262666/1/


Also, Part 2 is almost done. I'll be updating this thread with the link to it when it's done.

Taklest
11-29-2006, 04:34 AM
hey i like it keep it up, ur pretty good, how u started u got peoples atention
and u cant stop reading it till it ends XD well thats what happen 2 me XD

Kurb
11-29-2006, 04:39 AM
nice

Dopples
12-06-2006, 02:13 PM
Part 2 is complete! Here's the link to it
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3262666/2/


I delves into Mina's past and reveals a little more about the future in store for her :)

Dopples
12-10-2006, 10:34 AM
Alright, my progress on part 3 has been halted for a few days due to an assignment I have to do for english, plus I need to get BLM to lvl 16 so I can get my WHM to 32 without any hiccups

Shinoe
12-10-2006, 04:29 PM
The only thing i have against it is the names used. they came straight from other FF games and/or other RPGs. How many "Guy" and "Alex" characters have there been? I love original names, so that' smy only thing against it. Great story so far!

Dopples
12-10-2006, 08:22 PM
I usually pick names that come to mind when I think of the type of character I'm writing about. For example, I picked Guy, cause I wanted his name to reflect his personality, and Guy fits for a boisterous, proud man. Alex is generally used for either, A.The main evil guy, or B.The caring man who's in love.


But I do see where your coming from. I'll take that into consideration for future characters and other stories

Shinoe
12-10-2006, 09:01 PM
No no, go with what you think of first. Now that i understand your reasoning behind it, it's much better. I had just thought that you were pulling over-used names from other games because of lack of foresight into character development. But if there are reasons for those names to match each face...don't let me hamper your creativity :thumbsup:

Dopples
12-11-2006, 12:34 AM
Ah, I see. I do hope that the day I use generic RPG names for the sake of being uncreative is the day I stop writing ;) If that makes sense.

Shinoe
12-11-2006, 02:34 PM
Hah, we'll, you're doing good so far. keep on truckin!

Dopples
12-14-2006, 07:05 PM
I thought I'd explain the process of which this story is being made. Currently it's completely open ended. None of the parts are planned out IN ENTIRETY. There's still a general direction being taken, but how it gets there is currently unknown.


On that note, part 3 is currently being thought out and planned. It should be done by next week.

Dopples
05-02-2007, 07:25 PM
A small update, I've lost my complete train of thought with the 3rd chapter, so I'm scrapping it and starting anew. It'll take a while but I should have it done soon.

Aksannyi
05-02-2007, 07:57 PM
I like it so far :) Not too many people do things long *after* the FFXI story. Keep at it ^^
I've started mine, but I barely have time to get all my homework done, let alone recreational writing. :(

To the OP: I like it, good start. :)

Dopples
05-06-2007, 01:19 PM
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3262666/1/


Not my best work, but it'll suffice for now. I kinda rushed the ending of this chapter, and I believe it shows.