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Old 01-05-2003, 03:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Tsurioks Journal ( Intro )
Hey Guys Can You Check If My Intro Looks Good :sweat: ? Thanks To All The People That Help!

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Tsuriok was a happy hume living in a town named Vana'Diel. He was a cheerful person and loved to always help people that needed help. Tsuriok had blonde hair, blue eyes and loved to talk. But after a war had strucked in the peaceful place named Vana'Diel. His parents carried their child tough with broken hearts to someone that lived in Bastok who could take care of his child while they came back, they had to do everything they could to protect their only and young child. Tsuriok could only hear the coldness and sorrow through the wind, even tough the war was far from there crowds that looked like ants could be seen. One Breezy morning 6 years after the horrible fight had accured, Tsuriok standed upon the door and watched the sky and wondered what had happened to his parents would he ever see them? he could think, he closed his eyes and wished he could see them one last time. He now had adoptive parents they were just like his parents for Tsuriok, Takai was best friends with Tsurioks real father and thats why his father decided they would be the best people who would give care and love, if they never came back, they also had a children name Kesuke he and Tsuriok were like brothers and always played games. 4 more yrs passed and the beutiful reunion couldnt be split Tsuriok was happy once again. But one day he tought one more time about his parents, and decided to tell Takai if he knew what happened that made everyone turn soo diffrent. All he could remember was the loud yells and the swords hitting one and another. Takai tought it was time for him to know the truth since he was mature enough to know, Slowly he talked to Tsuriok and told him everything that happened that terrible day and who where the ones who made this chaos grow immensly until it became a war. Tsuriok infuriated as he heard the words Takai spoke, he always used to see his father train when he was 5 yrs old and now that his 17 he tough that he would be the one to revenge his parents and make them proud, Thus he begins the quest through out Bastok and leaves his fellow friends and family there. But Tsuriok didnt know what awaited for him and the dangers he would face.
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And You Guys I Dont Own This Game I Dunno How Big The Towns Are Either So Stuff Is Innacurate Ok?
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Old 01-05-2003, 03:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Nice job.. keep it up ..



Owner of MiseryKnights ~
We Live As One, We Die As One
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Old 01-05-2003, 03:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks :sweat: it seems no one likes it tought
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Old 01-05-2003, 03:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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do u even own this game?
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Old 01-05-2003, 03:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Um No Not Really Thats Why I Need Opinions :sweat: And Also Because I Have Still No FFXI Intelligence As You Can See So Thats Just Temporarly Err..But I Am Going To Edit It Soon :sweat:
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Old 01-05-2003, 04:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm going to have to move this to fan works if that's the case.

*Moved*
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Old 01-05-2003, 04:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
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lol... well its still good but it could use just a tad bit of work.



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Old 01-05-2003, 04:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thanks! atleast some people speaked up! :sweat: And Um Yeah I Know I had Like 3 Min And Really Didnt Check Back I Just Wanted To Post Ehehehehe...
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Old 01-05-2003, 07:31 PM   #9 (permalink)
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It was well-written but not accurate to the game. It also had a few writing problems, but they were minor.



Bah... prentend there's a pretty sig pic here.
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Old 01-05-2003, 07:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Yep, i was sure it was innacurate so ill fix all that by tomorrow, thanks buu !
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Old 01-05-2003, 08:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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And why did you name the main character's best friend "high?" (Takai=high/expensive)



Bah... prentend there's a pretty sig pic here.
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Old 01-05-2003, 08:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Good Question , Im not sure ill edit the name too :sweat: , got out of hand i think
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Old 01-05-2003, 08:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Really cool! Wish I could write my own story but I would like to live it first :D Nice story btw ^O^
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Old 01-05-2003, 08:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Thanks for the compliment, and dont worry ill make the whole accurate stuff and all when FFXI comes out, so i can also start the journey lol . :sweat:
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Old 01-06-2003, 10:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
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what grade are u in? is english your first language? im asking this in all honesty and am not trying to be a jerk.
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