[TheGrandMom]

Originally Posted by fallenintoshadows

Yeah the chapeau is a bit odd, the edge looks like a paper airplane :<

Thats it! I was trying to think of what it reminded me of! LOL You know I looked at your signature after I looked at the picture and I thought what if you make the outline lines thicker, like the outline in your signature? Might that soften the edges some and not make it so airplaney?

[fallenintoshadows]

I think the reason it looked so paper air-planey is because I followed the outlines of the screenshot too much and the graphics are too squarey. So trying to improve on this is my next picture! Not coloured yet. But anyways, I did more than just work over the screenshot:
this time I changed it in a lot of areas, the character was too square so I made the body more rounded, I made the fingers and hands slimmer (but they look odd still and I just noticed the front arm looks chunky still lower down), the clothes.. UGH the clothes.. I had to re-do it all because the screenshot made it look like starched paper cut outs or something, especially with the sleeves (if you've seen the dnc AF in game you know how squared they look), so I had to try and make it look flowy and actually like material. I had to change the eyes, of course, because they look odd and flat in screen shots, the armpit was actually just stretched weird, damn ffxi graphics, so I made it look like baggy material and a lot of the details I had to just "make up" as it wasn't clear what was going on with some of them >w<

[Yellow Mage]

Nose looks Hume male-ish. Will be back with more later

[fallenintoshadows]

Originally Posted by Yellow Mage

Nose looks Hume male-ish. Will be back with more later

XD
Yeah I realise at the moment it does but once it's coloured with the brown furry bit and shading to it I'm hoping it will look more mithra-ish.

[Yellow Mage]

Okay, here's the more I promised: her right arm is just massive compared to her head, and conversely, her left arm is a bit on the small side. I understand what effect you were going for, but you just overdid it, and it looks like she's being viewed from a distortion glass of some kind.

Also, and this one took me a while to see, but looking at her back, and following her spine . . . you can see that, just for the sake of looking at the viewer, she has her head turned in to what should be a pretty uncomfortable position.

Otherwise, I can't seem to find anything else wrong with it . . . it looks pretty good, however, I imagine it's going to be a pain to color. >.<

[TheGrandMom]

The middle finger on the hand in the air looks like its broken. The lower arm looks too out of proportion to the upper arm. No offense, but that looks like the bust of a 60 yr old mithra....too saggy! See how her arm is in the air...raise your arm like that. Notice how the muscle pulls the breast tissue up? So ya...that boob is way too saggy.

I disagree with YM about the body being in an uncomfortable condition. Its a dancer and she's dancing. In fact, thats a Flamingo pose and it looks great to me.

[Yellow Mage]

Originally Posted by TheGrandMom

I disagree with YM about the body being in an uncomfortable condition. Its a dancer and she's dancing.

Oh, the rest of her looks like she's well in her element. It's just they way the head is positioned on the spine that gets me. If she made it so that the mithra is glancing to her right while her head was turned a little more to the left than it is now, that could have worked wonders.

To me, it just looks less like she's doing that for the sake of the pose and more like her spine enters the side of her skull rather than the back.

[TheGrandMom]

Originally Posted by Yellow Mage

To me, it just looks less like she's doing that for the sake of the pose and more like her spine enters the side of her skull rather than the back.

Ah, ok! I see what you are saying now.

[fallenintoshadows]

OK I *think* I've fixed a few things, the boobs have gone up and the arm's thickness has gone down XD Also thought I'd post what I was working from:

[Kailea]

Very nice ^.^ ....wish my stupid hands would produce this stuff ;p

[fallenintoshadows]

Originally Posted by Kailea

Very nice ^.^ ....wish my stupid hands would produce this stuff ;p

It just takes practice
I used to draw stick people and such and even they sucked, it really is just keep going, keep improving and you get better

[Kailea]

Originally Posted by fallenintoshadows

It just takes practice
I used to draw stick people and such and even they sucked, it really is just keep going, keep improving and you get better

I did try for a while few years back, I just could not get the hang of it, but you do very well.

[fallenintoshadows]

Originally Posted by Kailea

I did try for a while few years back, I just could not get the hang of it, but you do very well.

thanks

[TheGrandMom]

Yes, her breast looks much better. More perky. LOL

But I still take issue with a couple other things. While I see that they are just like the actual picture, I disagree with SE's rendition too then! LOL That finger placement is unnatural! Do that with your hand. It doesn't come naturally, you must concentrate to force your fingers into that position.

Also, there is no taper to the wrist. Look at your forearm. Notice how the upper part near your elbow is thick but it tapers as it goes to your wrist. Thats a natural look. To have it nearly the same thickness all the way down just looks unnatural.

Also look at the upper arm by the first elastic piece before the ruffle. It's quite thin. My upper arm is not "built up" (I'm a granny!) but yet it's thicker or about the same as the upper portion of my lower arm. For the upper arm to be thinner than the lower arm is also unnatural. And I know that you are following SE's design perfectly but SE SUCKS! lol Do what you think is right, whether its staying with SE's design or making alterations to appease your own eye. But I needed to point out how much SE fails!

[fallenintoshadows]

Ha ha SE does fail here XD
I've left it as it is for now since I started colouring it already XD but I have a couple more like this I want to try out so I'm going to be more thorough with going over SE's "Proportions"